It’s unfortunate that so much time and money was spent making the upcoming Snow White movie with Academy Award winner Charlize Theron and Academy Award show viewer Kristen Stewart when someone could have just told them about the existence of Walt Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” from 1937.

I’m not sure how this oversight occurred. There’s clearly video footage that proves conclusively that the film was made. They could have asked me. I would have gladly waived my normal consulting fee to spare them this embarrassment.

The Theron film is promoted as the “first in a planned trilogy.” The Disney film managed to tell the whole story in less than 90 minutes but George Lucas wasn’t alive in 1937.

Most likely the only thing the two films will have in common is that the Evil Queen in both makes the error of hiring a man to murder a woman who the talking mirror — apparently an expert on this sort of thing — says is the “fairest one of all.” One would think someone with her resources could find a female, non-lesbian to do the job.

Also — and I know this from experience — always confirm that the heart is actually human in case someone tries to pull the old “pig’s heart” scam on you. It’s regrettable to have to do business this way but you just can’t trust some people.