Paula Deen revealed on The Today Show that she has Type 2 diabetes. I’m impressed that it’s not more severe, like Type 20/20.

Deen made her shocking — in the Claude Rains sense — disclosure to Al Roker, who had gastric bypass surgery years ago to deal with his own weight problems.

There is some controversy that Deen has pushed fat-laden dishes on her show while being diabetic. Anthony Bourdain believes this is in “bad taste,” though Deen contends she is “your cook, not your doctor.”

Only she’s not much of a cook. Her concoctions remind me of what would happen when my parents would leave me alone in the house when I was in middle school. I once made Ice Cream a la Robinson, which was butter pecan ice cream drenched in half and half. Yes, it was disgustingly delicious. I didn’t get away with it, though. Somehow my mother knew that the ice cream had been moved one inch to the right, and she could tell at a glance that there was less half and half in the carton. Probably because I’d used up all the half and half and put an empty carton back in the refrigerator. Rookie mistake.

My other childhood invention was the spaghetti sandwich — spaghetti with melted cheddar cheese on whole-wheat toast. I am still sore that Deen repurposed this as a lasagna sandwich without crediting me.

Here she is making a less-healthful version, if possible, of the Luther Burger.

And here she is frying a cheesecake:

Deen has been treating her condition with Novo Nordisk drug Victoza, according to USA Today. She’s been less successfully treating her exaggerated Southern accent with Novo Nordisk drug VivienLeighoza.

This is the American way: Tank your health with lasagna sandwiches and fried cheesecakes then make the drug companies rich. Many of her viewers probably don’t even have health insurance. Oh well, I’ll give them my Ice Cream a la Robinson recipe for free.