Tag Archives: Paula Deen

The Crucifixion of White People…

Crucifixion, which was how the carpenter reportedly martyred himself, “is a form of slow and painful execution in which the victim is tied or nailed to a large wooden cross and left to hang until dead.”

It is also apparently what happens when someone receives any consequences for their racist actions.

First Paula Deen. Then Phil Robertson. And now poor, philandering racist Donald Sterling.

The usual argument is that racism is obviously bad, but perhaps more like wearing white after Labor Day bad and not something worth punishing anyone for so severely or, well, at all. And the first amendment grants all Americans the right to say odious things and suffer no economic repercussions, right? Even if that’s not at all how a capitalist economic system works. I thought Americans loved their capitalism? And unfettered capitalism is colder than the Oregon Coast in February.

Mike Pesca at Slate argued that just because Donald Sterling is a “horrible human being,” he “doesn’t deserve to have his property stripped away.” That’s a frightening image, but Sterling — or Deen or Robertson — did not break any law on the books that put them on trial after which they were convicted and sentenced to penury. No, the “invisible hand” of capitalism swept in and slapped them upside the head.

When NBA commissioner Adam Silver banned Sterling for life, he said he would “urge the Board of Governors to exercise its authority to force a sale of the team.”

The Board of Governors—which consists of ownership representatives from the league’s teams—can remove an owner with a three-quarters majority vote. Silver says he “fully expects” that the owners will vote to remove Sterling.

I suppose it’s worth clarifying that neither Silver nor the NBA Board of Governors are representatives of the U.S. government. And the terms upon which Sterling is “being stripped of his property” are all contractually valid. Oh, and wait, he is not *losing* the property. He will walk away from this a wealthy man.

This would also happen to the CEO of a private company who made horrible statements that later went public. Was Sterling “set up”? No, that’s the most misogynistic argument possible. I recall the morals clauses that would cost a gay teacher his or her job at a Catholic School. If a gay “lifestyle” is incompatible to teaching at a Catholic School, I presume being an inveterate racist might prove problematic in a business where the majority of your staff is black. But empathy in these situations is almost always oriented toward the poor, put-upon white racists and the offended blacks must simply endure.

I mean, what else would explain the belief that Sterling, once the demon was fully out of his racist box, could function as owner of the Clippers? What about the ability of the Clippers to maintain and recruit staff? This is a sensible business decision but the fact that it’s viewed as more than that or that Sterling could ever remain in his role without any consequences is further evidence of the invisibility of blacks in this country.

Finally, it is telling that in America, its Christians equate “crucifixion” so strongly with the loss of money and baptism with torture.

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Posted by on May 1, 2014 in Social Commentary


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Now she knows how Joan of Arc felt…

Now she knows how Joan of Arc felt…

Paula Deen compares her recent outing as a racist to football player Michael Sam’s announcement that he’s gay.

“I feel like ‘embattled’ or ‘disgraced’ will always follow my name. It’s like that black football player who recently came out,” Deen told People Magazine in an interview hitting newsstands Friday, as quoted by The Wrap. “He said, ‘I just want to be known as a football player. I don’t want to be known as a gay football player.’ I know exactly what he’s saying.”

I’m not sure if I believe that Deen knows “exactly” what Sam is saying when she doesn’t seem to know his name. Was it that hard for her to Google? And I don’t think “embattled” or “disgraced” will always follow Sam’s name because the weird, alternative lifestyle here is Deen’s ignorance.

Deen continues to whine about her “embattled” life as a wealthy woman who is interviewed by national publications.

The celebrity chef also said her public fall from grace has made her feel “empathy” for others who have been vilified in the media, like “Duck Dynasty” patriarch Phil Robertson. Robertson was heavily criticized and temporarily suspended from his reality show for comments he made about gays and blacks in a GQ interview.

Let me see here: Deen’s post-scandal plan for letting the world know she’s not a racist is to express her “empathy” for one (Phil Robertson) and to refer to Michael Sam as that “black football player.” In the context of her attempt to co-opt his personal experiences for her own use, Sam’s race was irrelevant but yet she still led with it as his most defining characteristic. Wow. Who’s handling her PR? Bialystock and Bloom?

“It’s amazing that some people are given passes and some people are crucified,” Deen told People, as quoted by The Wrap. ”I have new empathy for these situations, though. My dad always told me, ‘Believe half of what you see and none of what you hear.’”

Can Deen pause her plantation-style pity party long enough to name one person who received a “pass” for racist statements? Or offensive statements to any group? I’m not claiming they don’t exist but I just think that Deen might take the time to do her research (even learn Michael Sam’s name). It’s not like she’s that busy these days.

And no one — neither her nor Robertson — has been “crucified.” People said “mean” things about you. You lost your job. That’s the beginning of Stripes not a crucifixion.

Quick Comparison.



The guy in the second clip doesn’t look in any condition for an interview with People Magazine.

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Posted by on February 27, 2014 in Social Commentary


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Paula Deen Comes Clean…

Paula Deen revealed on The Today Show that she has Type 2 diabetes. I’m impressed that it’s not more severe, like Type 20/20.

Deen made her shocking — in the Claude Rains sense — disclosure to Al Roker, who had gastric bypass surgery years ago to deal with his own weight problems.

There is some controversy that Deen has pushed fat-laden dishes on her show while being diabetic. Anthony Bourdain believes this is in “bad taste,” though Deen contends she is “your cook, not your doctor.”

Only she’s not much of a cook. Her concoctions remind me of what would happen when my parents would leave me alone in the house when I was in middle school. I once made Ice Cream a la Robinson, which was butter pecan ice cream drenched in half and half. Yes, it was disgustingly delicious. I didn’t get away with it, though. Somehow my mother knew that the ice cream had been moved one inch to the right, and she could tell at a glance that there was less half and half in the carton. Probably because I’d used up all the half and half and put an empty carton back in the refrigerator. Rookie mistake.

My other childhood invention was the spaghetti sandwich — spaghetti with melted cheddar cheese on whole-wheat toast. I am still sore that Deen repurposed this as a lasagna sandwich without crediting me.

Here she is making a less-healthful version, if possible, of the Luther Burger.

And here she is frying a cheesecake:

Deen has been treating her condition with Novo Nordisk drug Victoza, according to USA Today. She’s been less successfully treating her exaggerated Southern accent with Novo Nordisk drug VivienLeighoza.

This is the American way: Tank your health with lasagna sandwiches and fried cheesecakes then make the drug companies rich. Many of her viewers probably don’t even have health insurance. Oh well, I’ll give them my Ice Cream a la Robinson recipe for free.

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Posted by on January 17, 2012 in Pop Life


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