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Category Archives: Political Theatre

The Politics of “I’m Sorry”…

10 Oct

Johnny Depp’s recent foot-in-mouth incident was not as egregious and did not have the immediate repercussions as country music singer Hank Williams Jr’s comparison of President Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler.

In an appearance on last week’s “FOX and Friends,” Williams said that Obama golfing with House Speaker John Boehner was “like Hitler playing golf with (Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin) Netanyahu.”

OK, let’s go to the dictionary.

Definition of Hitler:

1. An Austrian-born German politician and the leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party:

2. Most commonly associated with the rise of fascism in Europe, World War II, and the Holocaust:

3. Gained support by promoting Pan-Germanism, antisemitism, and anti-communism with charismatic oratory and propaganda.

4. Probably not someone you would compare to a U.S. president who represents everything he would have detested.

Thanks to FOX and the Tea Party, Obama is probably the president who has been compared the most to Hitler even though — with the possible exception of wheelchair-bound FDR — he’s the only one who would have been shipped off to Dachau.

It’s interesting because historically speaking previous presidents have done worst things than passing health care reform. There’s Andrew Jackson and the Indian Removal Act of 1830, which led to the Trail of Tears. And 12 U.S. presidents owned slaves (eight of them did so while in office). Can you imagine the trouble Obama would get into if he owned slaves?

Surely, you ask, Williams did not mean to compare Obama to Hitler? Unlike Depp, the nice people at “FOX and Friends” gave Williams the “Idiot Retraction Option.” This is preemptive to the “Apology Due to Public Outcry.”

Williams declined this option and further embraced the “Sinking Ship Statement.” He stated that “they’re the enemy” and clarified that by “they” he meant Obama and Vice President Joe Biden.

I don’t believe that comparisons to Hitler should be off-limits, as many commentators seem to think, but they just need to make sense and be grounded in reality. Too often they reflect the sad reality that the speaker is unaware of any other appropriate bogeyman aside from Hitler. If you want to ignore body counts but at least have an internally consistent position, compare Obama (godless socialist, per FOX) to Stalin (godless communist, per his MySpace page).

Williams later issued the “Half-Assed and Too Little Too Late” Apology:

“The thought of the leaders of both parties jukin and high fiven on a golf course, while so many families are struggling to get by simply made me boil over and make a dumb statement… I am very sorry if it offended anyone.”

This is similar to Newt Gingrich’s claim that he cheated on his wife because he loved his country so much. Williams made his “dumb statement” out of righteous anger.

ESPN reacted to this by pulling Williams’s intro from Monday Night Football. The song’s title “All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Tonight” was also the text of the telegram Hitler sent Poland prior to invading. This later prompted a sermon from Sarah Palin on her FOX show “Strawman Arguments with Sarah.”

“Hank Williams and what he is going through now, I think it’s a very clear  illustration of a greater societal problem and that is the hypocrisy on the left  — the liberals who can throw these stones at a conservative and they knowing that they’re not going to be held accountable… It’s a one way street and we’re always walking on eggshells, aren’t we? … you know, like, oh geez, if I say that is  somebody going to misinterpret it or spin it as something that is quote unquote  racist or sexist or anything else? But the other side … they can say whatever  they want and nobody calls them out on it. I think it’s pretty disgusting.”

The “nobody” in this case would be FOX News, which calls them out on a daily basis. Shirley Sherrod was fired for statements taken out of context that FOX and conservative bloggers made a stink over.

And isn’t this the example of free-market capitalism that conservatives love so much? The big corporation (ESPN) decided that an individual (Williams) was a liability and parted ways with him. This is business. And his first amendment right to free speech protected him in that the government didn’t arrest him for comparing the president to a genocidal maniac.

I don’t get the priorities here: I should lose my job in the military because I’m gay. I should go bankrupt because I’m uninsured. But I should be able to say stupid things on TV with no repercussions? Well, I guess, the latter freedom does ensure that Sarah Palin remains employed.

 
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Posted by on October 10, 2011 in Political Theatre, Social Commentary

 

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Temporary Aberrations…

30 Sep

Newt Gingrich, former House Speaker and current failed presidential candidate, made the following comment about gay marriage.

“I believe that marriage is between a man and woman,” Gingrich said, the Des Moines Register reports. “It has been for all of recorded history and I think this is a temporary aberration that will dissipate. I think that it is just fundamentally goes against everything we know.”

Sometimes I think the true “temporary aberration” is the United States itself, which produces bigots as if they are the country’s chief export.

Gingrich is not the only GOP presidential candidate to appeal to “recorded history” regarding gay marriage. Let’s check in with everyone’s favorite Congressional representative and mental patient Michele Bachmann, who said in 2004:

“You have a teacher talking about his gayness. (The elementary school student) goes home then and says “Mom! What’s gayness? We had a teacher talking about this today.” The mother says “Well, that’s when a man likes other men, and they don’t like girls.” The boy’s eight. He’s thinking, “Hmm. I don’t like girls. I like boys. Maybe I’m gay.” And you think, “Oh, that’s, that’s way out there. The kid isn’t gonna think that.” Are you kidding? That happens all the time. You don’t think that this is intentional, the message that’s being given to these kids? That’s child abuse.”

Sorry, this quote doesn’t directly reference gay marriage. It’s just dumb. Sure, the 8-year-old boy is now a committed homosexual (just as I was a committed ninja at that age) until his female classmate shows up one day with breasts. If a boy can pass the breast test, then he deserves his gay honor badge, but hearing that his teacher is gay is not going to make him gay. Gayness is not spread through auditory contact. If that was the case, then everyone who listened to “Livin’ la Vida Loca” in 1999 would be gay.

Anyway, a more relevant quote from Bachmann during a recent appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

“The family is foundational and marriage between a man and a woman is what the law has been for years..”

Got that? So, gays can’t marry because that’s been the law for years and we can’t change the law because gays have historically not been able to marry.

That’s probably why it took so long for the self-proclaimed-but-rarely-in-actuality “land of the free” to end its “peculiar institution.” “We can’t free negroes because they are slaves and slavery has existed for centuries and is the foundation of our economy.”

There’s the other rub — end slavery and some lazy white people might have to work. What would happen to Scarlett’s hands if she had to wash her own gowns? Gays marrying has no impact on the economic health of the U.S. Empire. So, the anti-gay marriage position does not even have the virtue of selfishness.

Also, put a powdered wig on Gingrich — though I think that’s what he’s already wearing — and he could be arguing against female suffrage: “I believe that only men can vote because I say so with no facts to back it up. I believe the suffrage movement is a temporary aberration that will dissipate. It goes against everything we’ve ever known.”

Gay marriage has probably existed throughout recorded history, even if not legally recognized as such. The attempt by people like Gingrich and Bachmann is to legislate homosexuality out of existence — the legal equivalent of putting their hands over their ears and shouting, “La, La, La, I can’t hear gay people being gay around me.” They also simultaneously promote family values while denying that gays can have families, so homosexuality remains on the margins of society. This is how you ensure they remain second-class citizens. And “converting” to heterosexuality won’t help. It’s similar to the Jews and Muslims who converted under pressure to Roman Catholicism in Portugal. They were dubbed “New Christians” as a means of distinguishing them from the “Old Christians.” And they were always under suspicion.

Gingrich has already expressed his concerns:

“I think there is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment. I think it is prepared to use the government if it can get control of it. I think that it is a very dangerous threat to anybody who believes in traditional religion.”

But Bachmann is more sympathetic — if not sort of sinisterly condescending — of the “New Heterosexuals“:

“And again, don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgendered. We need to have profound compassion for the people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life, and sexual identity disorders. This is a very real issue. It’s not funny, it’s sad.”

Sad, indeed.

 
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Posted by on September 30, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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Vacation, all I never wanted…

19 Aug

There’s been a great deal of discussion about President Obama’s vacation this week to Martha’s Vineyard, specifically whether Michelle would drive on the way there or back and if the Bidens would take the fold-out sofa or the room with the bunkbeds.

Opponents of the president, who also thought he should not have celebrated his birthday, believe it is inappropriate for him to take 10 days off while the U.S. economy is in peril. It’s possible he might completely forget about the financial crisis while away and have to rely on the tattoos on his chest (“U.S. BROKE” and “BUY GOLD”) and polaroids of himself with Ben Bernanke to get back up to speed.

Mitt Romney claims that if he were the president, he would recall Congress, which is on recess, to Washington to resolve the economic crisis (“Resolving the Economic Crisis in 10 Days” is also the name of a TLC reality series Romney is pitching).

“The first thing I’d do is go back to my office immediately,” Romney said in response to a question about what he would do if he were in the White House. “If  I were president today, I wouldn’t be looking to go spend 10 days on Martha’s Vineyard.”

Remembering that he was at one point the governor of Massachusetts, where Martha’s Vineyard is located, Romney quickly added:

“Now, Martha’s Vineyard is in my home state of Massachusetts so I don’t want to say anything negative about people vacationing there… But if you’re the president of the United States, and the nation is in crisis, and we’re in a jobs crisis right now, then you shouldn’t be out vacationing. Instead, you should be focusing on getting the economy going again. And yeah, go back to the office yourself, pull back members of Congress, and focus on getting the job done. This action of somehow this is campaign time and vacation time is exactly the wrong dose of medicine for the American economy.”

Oh yeah, the GOP would also prefer that Obama not do anything remotely related to campaigning for re-election (part of its “Obama rolls over and plays dead” strategy).

The criticism did not alter Obama’s plans but he did offer to substitute a blow-up doll in his image that the GOP leadership could ignore, walk out on, and demonize on FOX News until he returned.

Sarah Palin, demonstrating her usual level of self-awareness, questioned Obama’s work ethic.

“You know, economies are crashing — markets are crashing — there’s a lot of turmoil right now. And he just seems so extremely absent from the reality that  the rest of us are facing in this country today,” she said. “And that’s illustrated by his desire and now his action to go on vacation again, this time for 10 days  . . . where the rest of us are kind of shaking our heads saying: Really? At this time? Perception being reality in politics, why in the world would he do this?”

What makes Palin uniquely qualified to criticize Obama is that she is arguably a victim of his economic policies. Obviously, his election cost her a potential promotion to vice president. She was then forced to quit the job she had for reasons that are still unclear even after repeated viewings of her resignation speech. Since then, she’s been as gainfully employed as a Kardashian with reality show appearances and her current role as Shirley Partridge, traveling the country on a PAC-funded bus tour where instead of performing songs, she just sort of shows up.

Palin might also have issues with metaphor comprehension: “I don’t know why our president bothers even making promises at this point or spewing those platitudes. One in particular: He said he promised to not rest
until every American who wanted a job got that job.” Her literal reading of the president’s statement might qualify her for the Amelia Bedelia of Alaska Award. She also suggested he invest in adult diapers rather than wasting the nation’s time on frivolous bathroom breaks.

Supporters of the president point out that most Americans with means take summer vacations. In New York, for example, it’s not unusual for executives to work from their Hamptons houses on Fridays because they desire a more pleasant view that the homeless guy outside their window urinating on Broadway. No one demands that businessmen not vacation until the economy recovers. Moreover, vacations are a critical part of the economy for many towns where summer tourism is their chief industry. They are like farmers whose sole crop are overpriced Bud Lights they claim are “local” drafts and crappy souvenir t-shirts.

Ronald Reagan — shortly before calling forth Lazarus — took 25 days vacation when unemployment was at 9.5%. George W. Bush was on vacation “42% of the time” during his first seven months in office. Bill Clinton took just 28 days off during his eight years as president, which reinforces why most people are distrustful of workaholics who can never find time away from the office. They are usually involved in some sort of complex embezzlement scheme or are having an affair with a colleague.

The presidential vacation as political PR stunt hit its nadir with Clinton, who —  taking the advice of Dick Morris, his Faust with a foot fetish — dragged his family to Jackson Hole, Wyoming in 1996 based on a poll Morris conducted. It’s still uncertain if the public didn’t play a prank on the Clintons. Anyway, the idea was that it would appear less elitist than previous trips to the Vineyard. I think my vote at the time had been for the Clintons to climb into a station wagon and drive cross-country to Wally World.

It’s all rather silly and reflects the less-benign bull-fighting match that modern politics have become. Ardent foes of Obama do not stop to question the logic of thinking he’s doing a terrible job while resenting his spending a few days not doing a terrible job. Not that anyone should expect Palin to question her own logic:

“… (Obama’s) ideology is one of big, centralized government that can plan an economy and make decisions for our businesses and for us as individuals,” Palin said. “So I think that he is not the one to provide that inspiration and that empowerment that is so desperately needed today to get us out of this really chaotic situation that we’re in.”

It’s like the line from “Annie Hall”: “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible” “Yeah, I know, and such small portions.”

 
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Posted by on August 19, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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S&P, O.J., and Tiger…

07 Aug

So, on Friday, Standard and Poor’s downgraded the U.S. credit rating from AAA to AA+ (along with a lesser reported scaling back of the nation’s fashion sense from “Fierce” to “Vacation Dad”). This should be a shock to no one remotely cognizant of the path the U.S. economy has been on since we decided to enter a post-Bill Clinton Bizarro World where up is down and reasonable taxes on the wealthy is bad while spending trillions (even in U.S. dollars, that’s a lot) on military quagmires apparently doesn’t count.

This revelation that the U.S. Empire has no cash can potentially “rock” the global markets… even though nothing has really changed. The country is as dysfunctional as it was on the Thursday before the announcement and the several thousand Thursdays before that. The closest analogue I can think of is when the story broke in November 2009 that Tiger Woods was cheating on his wife Elin Nordegren with… well everyone but me, it seemed. This punctured the myth of Woods’ squeaky clean image and everything quickly fell apart for him to the point that his financial state now is reportedly as perilous as America’s.

When news broke a few weeks ago that Tiger Woods had signed an endorsement deal to hawk a heat rub in Japan, it was hard not to think of “Lost in Translation,” or of the “Entourage” episode when Vincent Chase goes to China to do an energy drink commercial because he’s out of money.

Although Woods was likely paid in the single-digit millions for the spot — in which he takes a swing, rubs his back, and says, “Go Vantelin!” — it’s a far cry from campaigns for PepsiCo, Gillette, and Accenture. The last time Woods showed up in Japanese TV ads was in 1997, when he promoted Asahi Wonda coffee, back before he became a phenomenon. So the deal with Kowa (maker of the rub) seems more like a moment of desperation than a return to form.

It’s no secret that Woods, once king of the sports world, has suffered financially since his fall from grace. His endorsement list shrank and his marriage ended in a divorce settlement reportedly worth $100 million. But now he may actually be hurting for funds. At the very least, there are signs that he isn’t generating enough to comfortably cover his costs.

A true Faustian bargain: Tiger Woods could be the world's richest and most popular athlete but he'd have to marry and remain faithful to this woman.

Let’s contrast this to June 13, 1994 when O.J. Simpson most likely killed his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman. Here you have a clear, pre-and-post murder line in the sand. On June 12, Simpson was the former athlete who starred in the “Naked Gun” movies and advertised cowboy boots in old comic books. On June 13, he brutally murdered two people. This can cast a pall on your enjoyment of his hijinks as Nordberg and shake your confidence in his recommendations for appropriate footwear.

America’s June 13 was December 12, 2000 when George W. Bush won — more or less —  the presidency. Prior to that date, the U.S.was riding high on the wave of Clinton-era prosperity… then we decided to go in another direction. Once the horrible act took place, it was hard to look at the U.S. the same way. The country still defiantly stuck around, claimed it was unjustly maligned, but no one cared to listen.

However, Woods apparently was always an adulterous rake — our eyes were just finally opened to the reality. Thus, the Standard and Poor’s downgrade is the SUV crash that exposes the U.S. economy for what it truly is.  In both instances, there were furious P&R spins and post-mortems. Remember how they trotted out the theory that Woods might be a sex addict, which is a B.S. diagnosis for a lifelong case of douchebaggery? The U.S. is equally addicted to doing everything that S&P claims caused the downgrade — partisan sniping and a pathological denial of how the economy works.

Unfortunately, unlike Woods, the U.S. has no interest in entering rehab — even if just for show. Nothing can tame this country’s arrogance and need to blame others for its ills. Has this country — by its own reckoning — ever done anything wrong? As expected, this weekend we got more of the same on the Sunday morning news Talking Points Swap Meets. Here is where we get out of Tiger’s SUV and hop into the slow-moving Bronco with O.J. Our destination is inexorable. And a Michele Bachmann presidency — heck, even just a GOP nomination — is about as pathetic an end to the American experiment as Simpson’s final fate.

But who knows, Japan might be interested in the U.S. shilling heat rubs for them.

 
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Posted by on August 7, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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50 Candles…

05 Aug
50 Candles…

President Obama turned 50 on August 4 and the media celebrated by making every effort to utterly depress both him and anyone who happened to share the same continent.

From the Daily Times:

Obama turns 50 as gray hair betray political peril

WASHINGTON: US President Barack Obama turned 50 Thursday, marking a personal milestone that may offer only brief respite from a moment of political peril and rising threats to his bid for second term.

From the Guardian:

Barack Obama enjoys 50th birthday with burgers and banter

Barack Obama has not had much to celebrate in the runup to his 50th birthday, although he must wish his US poll ratings, currently 43% approval, outscored his years. But the US president, who in recent weeks has been battered by a debt standoff that ended with a deal no one liked, seems determined to enjoy the milestone.

“Determined” to enjoy the milestone? Is the Guardian suggesting he should just ignore his birthday? That’s not a politically viable option, as many Muslims do not celebrate birthdays (it’s considered a pagan tradition), which would just provide fodder for those who suspect he has a secret mosque in the White House basement (where George W. Bush kept the bowling alley). Is it really accurate that the guy with a loving wife and two beautiful kids does not have much to celebrate? Sure, his job sucks but that’s true of pretty much everyone who has a job. This is why the pagans or the Smurfs or whoever invented birthdays. It’s a time when you can reflect and say, “Yes, life is bad but at least there is less of it now.”

The New Post managed to link Obama’s birthday to the stock market plunge:

Obama celebrates 50th birthday on day stocks nosedive

WASHINGTON – President Obama celebrated his 50th birthday at the White House last night in celebrity-packed bash where revelers did the electric slide, on a night after Wall Street took steep slide of its own.

This somehow makes me think of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Masque of the Red Death” with Obama and his guests hiding from the recession at a gala ball but the recession shows up uninvited and bankrupts everyone.

FOX took it a step further with its headline: Obama parties with Chris Rock, Jay-Z and Whoopi while Rome burns. There were other guests — some of them even white — but it keeps to the narrative to call out the angry black guy, the rapper, and the black woman who is not Halle Berry.

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus also took issue with the celebration:

“Right now our economy is in the ditch,” Priebus said, juxtaposing the pricey party against a national dilemma. He added the President is “in love with sound of his own voice.”

I have seen the adult film of Obama and his own voice on Cinemax (purely for research purposes, of course) and it was pretty filthy. So, according to Priebus, Obama is the only rich guy in America we can attack for enjoying life while the rest of the country feasts on stale ramen noodles without it being “class warfare.”

GOP presidential candiate Mitt Romney’s birthday tribute for Obama was a video detailing how he is basically worse for Chicago than Capone. The math is curious but apparently the 2% of policies that Obama manages to squeak past the Republicans is what’s destroying the nation.

Really, is this where we are now? We can’t let the guy celebrate his birthday? There’s no August 4th cease fire? Feuding nations do better than this.

Fortunately, the New York Times was able to put things in perspective:

CHICAGO — For many men, turning 50 can be a day of reckoning, marked by graying hair, a slowing step and the wistful recognition that you are probably never going to make it to the corner office. What could be better, at such a melancholy moment, than to celebrate at home, among old friends?

Geez! Is this a news article or “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock”? This is worse than having dinner with a morose Jerry Seinfeld.

Mr. Obama, whose youth and relative inexperience were used against him in the 2008 election, has aged visibly, most noticeably in his hair color, now less salt-and-pepper than a generous dusting of salt. After two and a half years in which he soldiered through the Great Recession and sent a Seal team to assassinate Osama bin Laden, this president stopped seeming young a long time ago.

Yes, Obama won the presidency, steered the country through difficult economic times, and ordered the assasination of bin Laden but he still needs Just for Men and thus his entire life is a failure. I wonder how the author of this piece would teach history.

“So, Winston Churchill saved the world from Hitler but then he got fat and died, so what’s the point?” This would be similar to his lecture on Elvis’s impact on rock and roll.

Fortunately, the Business Insider knows how to celebrate a birthday and put together this slide show that allows you to watch Obama age before your eyes. Time to go roll up your trousers and hang yourself.

 
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Posted by on August 5, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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Adventures in the Time Travel Closet: Episode Twelve, President Hillary..

01 Aug

This weekend, as I watched Obama and the Democrats — my least favorite 1950s-Kenyan-Muslim-socialist doo-wop group — get crushed worse than Baltimore against the Yankees, I wondered what Hillary Clinton, former presidential candidate and current Sue Storm impersonator, would say about how all this was handled.

Sure, it’s easy for Clinton to say this now but where was she three years ago when this insight might have been useful? If she had successfully punctured the naive optimism of the Obama Movement ™, would we have been spared the Tea Party, John Boehner, and worst of all, the constant references to Boehner’s skintone? The only way to find out is to take a trip in my Time Travel Closet (patent pending) and deliver Clinton’s message to the American voters of 2008.

(First, let me just clear some room for you in my Time Travel Closet, put aside some of these old Commodores records and Criterion Collection laserdiscs. OK, we’re all set… now back to 2008!)

And we’re back… so, what is the America of 2011 like in a Hillary Clinton Administration?

No Sarah Palin: Imagine three years of Sarah Palin on the world stage. Now imagine passing a kidney stone the size of Alaska for three years straight. Tragically, John McCain never gave us the option of going with the kidney stone when he selected then-Alaska governor Palin as his running mate in a blatant attempt to court disappointed female Democrats and Independents. The primary battle between Clinton and Obama had been contentious and there was serious concern regarding whether bitter Hillary supporters would swing their support to Obama in November or simply stay home or, worse, vote for McCain. After a brief surge in popularity, Palin crumbled under the relentless grilling of Katie Couric — the same woman whose tough interviewing skills brought down “Sesame Street” — and Obama carried the day. Unfortunately, Palin never left. She made reality shows and her children made reality shows. They are like the Barrymores if the entire family was less talented than Drew and their best effort was equal in quality to “Duplex.” However, if Clinton had secured the nomination, Palin would have remained in Alaska and both the world of politics and televised dancing competitions would be the better for it.

No Tea Party: A great deal of the Tea Party’s vitriol is directly related to the election of Barack Obama and the imaginary bogeyman they have constructed in his image. The left had issues with George W. Bush but they were connected to non-made-up things he did — unjustified wars and violations of civil liberties — rather than deranged rantings on talk radio and Fox News. Meanwhile, the Tea Party claims Obama is not a native of the U.S., a socialist, and a Muslim, all of which are demonstrably false and the latter is not even a negative but a Constitutionally protected right. Now an arguably racist and nativist reaction to the nation’s first black chief executive was not entirely unexpected but it is a reality that was perhaps overlooked in the Fantasy of Unity that voters were sold in 2008. Keep in mind that Clinton was the candidate painted as having too much “baggage.” Sure, Obama was the fresh-faced candidate but that face is still black and this is still America, a country whose states are united only in their division.

Granted, Glenn Beck would still have scribbled furiously on his chalkboard about Clinton’s ties to communism and murder but Clinton — much like Little Edie Beale — knows how to get dressed for battle. What’s especially interesting is that even the drivers of what Clinton famously referred to as a “vast right-wing conspiracy” prefer Bill Clinton to Obama:

Former GOP House Speaker Newt Gingrich, who prompted a government shutdown in 1995 after pushing to cut former President Bill Clinton’s budget priorities, yesterday blasted President Obama’s “arrogant, distant” political posturing during the current budget brouhaha.

“There’s no comparison between Obama and Clinton. Obama’s a very rigid, ideologically driven elitist. Clinton was a very practical, Arkansas, everyday politician who had worked very hard to move his party to the center,” Gingrich told the Herald last night.

“There’s also a difference in schmoozing,” Gingrich said of the two Democrats. “I have not talked to anybody who has been on the Republican side who has been impressed with Obama in private meetings. They all find him to be arrogant and distant and aloof.”

This could just be Gingrich praising one of his exes while in the process of divorcing yet another wife. He did once refer to Clinton’s presidency as the “rough equivalent of the Jerry Springer show.” However, Obama’s greatest achievement can’t be arousing hatred in his political adversaries so great that their contempt for the Clintons seems almost cordial.

And the Tea Party is not just an annoyance or fodder for Keith Olbermann. There are historical parallels to the period after Reconstruction known as “Redemption.” Political missteps from the “Radical Republicans” (not to be confused with today’s right-leaning Radical Republicans), combined with severe national economic problems, led to Jim Crow laws, poll taxes, literacy tests and other means to restrict minority voting rights and scale back any gains from Reconstruction. Not that we’d expect this to happen now.

World Remembers Clinton Years: It was unfortunate but perhaps necessary given the circumstances that Obama had to distance himself from the most successful Democratic president in 50 years. As part of his generally futile “reaching across the aisle” efforts, Obama often invokes Ronald Reagan. Republicans might love the Gipper but Obama bringing him up is about as effective as going up to people from the Westboro Baptist Church with their “God Hates Fags” signs and saying, “Judge not yest ye be judged.” It won’t work because you’re quoting Matthew and they’re batshit crazy. Besides, Republicans don’t go out of their way to praise Democratic presidents… well, I suppose unless they are comparing Obama unfavorably to them, which one could argue Obama is trying to do with Reagan. This is more depressing than constructive. Conversely, Hillary would not have had to run away from the positive aspects of the Clinton years and would have never let anyone forget for a second that the country was far better off during the Bill Clinton administration so why challenge her policies that are basically an extension of his?

But, alas, you can’t change the past… even with the Time Travel Closet (patent pending)… we must simply face the future we have, even if it is shaping up to be more “Mad Max” than “Star Trek.”

 
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Posted by on August 1, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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Pelosi: Princess of Power…

28 Jul

I confess I was a little concerned about this whole debt-ceiling, default, financial ruin, Chinese overlords issue but fortunately, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi provided these calming words of reassurance in an interview regarding Oregon’s tiger-suited embarrassment David Wu:

“He’s resigning from office,” Pelosi said in response to a question from a Washington Post reporter. “So what we’re trying to do is save the world from the Republican budget; we’re trying to save life on this planet as we know it today.”  

Obviously, Pelosi can’t be bothered with this distracting, comic-relief b-plot when she’s busy gearing up to face off against the Death Star that is the Republican budget. Here I had mistakenly presumed this was all a petty partisan squabble with the nation’s economic health on the line but in reality, it’s something that’s previewed after the closing credits for “Captain America.”

Pelosi later referred to Speaker John Boehner’s plan to raise the debt ceiling as a “job-killer.” She apparently still thinks the U.S. has jobs. If that’s the plan’s goal, it’s wasting its time as much as a youth-sucking vampire stalking Larry King.

“If you believe in that the education of our children, the retirement of our seniors, the creation of jobs in a fiscally sound way, you couldn’t possibly vote for the bill that the Republicans are bringing to the floor today,” Pelosi said Thursday.

Wait, there’s a way to create jobs in a non-fiscally sound way? Is she referring to organized crime or the possible return of all those Internet start-ups from the late ’90s?

Regarding seniors, Pelosi claimed that if the Republican proposal passes, “You can just kiss Medicare goodbye.”

I’m afraid now that President Obama will have no choice but to pull a gun on Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and demand that he convince Pelosi to “chill out.”

Meanwhile, freshman Republicans are also going bonkers: According to the Washington Post, Rep. Mike Kelly “handed out to colleagues blue-and-orange signs” with the Notre Dame’s football slogan, “Play Like a Champion Today.”

“Put on your helmets. Buckle your chin straps. Run out on the field. Let’s knock the shit out of them,” Kelly told the group.”

So on the left, we have She-Ra who believes this is an epic battle between good and the Republican minions of Lord Hordak, and on the right, we have the callow frat boy who thinks this is a college football game. This reminds me of something Thomas Jefferson once said to James Madison:

“I say, the earth belongs to each of these generations during its course, fully and in its own right. The second generation receives it clear of the debts and incumbrances of the first, the third of the second, and so on. For if the first could charge it with a debt, then the earth would belong to the dead and not to the living generation. Then, no generation can contract debts greater than may be paid during the course of its own existence. Now… let’s go knock the shit out of them and save the planet. By the power of Grayskull!”

 
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Posted by on July 28, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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Obama on the Bubble…

27 Jul

According to this USA Today article, President Obama’s “weekly ratings” have hit a record low. Google News had 6,010 results for “Obama ratings,” so I suppose it’s as important a measurement tool for Obama’s performance as the Nielsen ratings for TV and the weekend box office results for movies.

The question now is how to improve these numbers? Clearly, the debt-ceiling debacle has been a momentum killer, perhaps even a “jump-the-shark” plot line. If things don’t turn around, there’s a good chance Obama won’t be renewed next year.

Can this “on-the-bubble” administration be saved? Here are some options:

Replace Speaker Boehner: Obama needs a good antagonist, but John Boehner is as supercilious and unlikable as Frank Burns on “M*A*S*H.” When Burns left the series after the fifth season, his replacement was Charles Emerson Winchester III. He still gave Hawkeye a hard time but he was a competent surgeon and frequently demonstrated basic humanity, as opposed to the cartoonish Burns. Unfortunately, the only Republican from Massachusetts — where Winchester hailed — is Scott Brown and he’s a senator. Still, the former “Cosmo” model might have the appeal necessary to increase audience interest.

Bring Back Osama bin Laden: It turns out that killing bin Laden was a short-sighted May sweeps stunt. There was a brief spike in the ratings but now no one remembers or cares. Perhaps Americans realize the ongoing economic crisis is a greater and more immediate threat to their way of life than the machinations of a pornography-viewing madman… or they just could have incredibly short memories and are only ever aware of what’s happening three feet in front of them. Either way, you don’t knock off your star villain and not expect to lose a good chunk of your audience. Does anyone read those “Star Wars” novels that take place after Darth Vader dies? Imagine bin Laden returning from the grave for an epic confrontation in time for November sweeps? That’s entertainment.

Bring Back Bill Clinton: This guy is a ratings bonanza. He once had an approval rating of 73 percent — after being impeached on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. They actually rose 10 percent after his impeachment. Obama’s peaked at 60 percent — after ordering the successful killing of a terrorist mastermind. Only 30 percent of Americans wanted Clinton to resign after his impeachment. That’s just marginally more than the number of Americans who believed Obama was born in another country (no, really). Clearly, Clinton has star wattage.

The face of a time when the U.S. was at peace and had two nickels to rub together. So, that's when we impeached the president ... because I guess that makes sense.

More Tragedy and Romance: As Tolstoy said, “all happy families are alike… and deathly dull.” The highly rated Clintons provided plenty of salacious, soap-opera storylines. There were naughty interns and betrayed spouses. America couldn’t stop watching. Conversely, the Obamas are like the Huxtables but less funny. They should take a cue from David and Sherry Palmer on “24.” That was “Macbeth” with soul. The Obamas should also consider adopting another child — maybe Lindsay Lohan.

Let’s hope this helps. However, if America’s credit rating falls — actually less of a shocker given the national debt than the fact that it was ever deemed “top-notch” — Obama’s own ratings might not matter. Sort of like when Conan O’Brien left NBC for TBS. Expectations are revised.

 
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Posted by on July 27, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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The Victims of Equality…

21 Jul

On July 24, gays in NY will have the ability to legally marry whoever they choose and in the process deny innocent citizens of their God-given right to deprive them of this basic bit of dignity. I suppose when you don’t think about it very hard, it is a tragedy.

The New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms group — a curious name for an anti-abortion and anti-gay marriage organization but there were no runners in Dexys Midnight Runners, either — has set up a self-styled “Courage Fund” for victims of marriage equality, which includes Laura Fotusky, a town clerk in Barker N.Y., who resigned rather than violate her religious beliefs by signing a marriage certificate for a gay couple. Apparently, this is Laura Fotusky’s House of Marriage Licenses (“ask for them by name!”) and gay unions are the Chinatown knock-offs that will devalue her brand.

Gays are apparently not satisfied with robbing Fotusky of all the glitz and glamour associated with her high-stakes position as a town clerk for someplace I just learned about today. They have also targeted Granby NY clerk Ruth Sheldon and Barbara MacEwen, who graciously stated that she didn’t mind her office issuing the licenses to gays, she just didn’t want to sign the designer imposter certificates.

The “Courage Fund” however is set up to protect these individuals who face the hardship of losing their jobs beause they don’t wish to do their jobs:

The New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms website says that the fund exists to “assist courageous municipal clerks and other people of conscience in New York State who oppose same-sex ‘marriage’ from harassment, denial of rightful promotion, or unfair termination for invoking New York State law protecting their sincerely-held religious beliefs.”

Rosemary Centi, another NY clerk who is resigning, has performed “hundreds” of wedding. She told The NY Post’s Andrea Peyser that “I am Catholic… my definition of marriage is between a man and a woman. It is a sacrament.”

Centi is under the mistaken impression that she was performing a religious service. This was a legal contract, and if she performed hundreds of these “sacraments,” there had to have been some stinkers in there: Twentysomething model marrying decrepit millionaire on life support; embezzling hedge fund manager tying the knot with his assistant so she won’t have to testify against him at the trial; anything involving Kelsey Grammer. Did she investigate any of these couples to ensure they were worthy of her? Or is it merely that heterosexual unions, while ocassionally going wrong, have the potential to be great and homosexual unions, by definition, do not.

“I have a number of friends whom I adore” who are gay, Centi told (Peyser). “I respect an individual’s right to live their life however they chose to do.” She paused. “So I would expect the same courtesy.”

Is this really the moral conundrum people are making it? Gays don’t care what Centi thinks of gay marriage. They don’t care that she chooses to resign her job rather than perform a gay marriage. And they probably don’t care that the “number” of gay friends Centi has is either a dubious assertion or cast members on “Project Runway.” Put this way: If Centi were a vegan, those of us who eat meat would respect her choice. If she worked at McDonald’s and they suddenly started serving actual meat, we would not have an issue with her finding another line of work. We would have an issue if she kept her job but refused to make the burgers.

Bronx DJ Clifton McLaughlin also refuses to make the burgers. In Peyser’s piece, he says he won’t spin the slow jams at a gay wedding.

“This is based on God’s law,” McLaughlin told (Peyser). “There is no way man can come with his own law.”

I think he also overstates his role here. The DJ is not one of the twelve apostles. He’s the entertainment. Also, there’s a good chance he’s worked at a mob daughter’s wedding. As long as he doesn’t play the “Electric Slide,” God will not judge him for his participation.

The Wildflower Inn turned away a lesbian couple recently because the innkeepers did not allow same-sex weddings on the site. Perhaps the misperception here is that you have to attend every wedding held at your space or even like the people who are giving you business. This is a more clear-cut violation of public accomodations laws, so I anticipate the owners Jim and Mary O’Reilly being sued into the Phantom Zone.

Peyser and the New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms (*just not yours) lament the apparent inability of people to enjoy freedom of religion in their own state. Granted, if your religion included illegal activities (e.g. ritual sacrifice or line dancing), you could not hide behind your faith in those instances. And in their rush to drape themselves in the cloth of civil rights terminology (i.e. “concientious objectors”), they should take the time to read their history and see that such acts never came without sacrifice. Their wish to defy the law without consequence or discriminate without repudiation is a rather craven fantasy.

 
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Posted by on July 21, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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“Cut, Cap, and Balance” (the sequel to “Bell, Book, and Candle”)…

19 Jul
“Cut, Cap, and Balance” (the sequel to “Bell, Book, and Candle”)…

U.S. House Set to Pass Doomed Spending-Cut Bill With No Debt Deal Imminent – Bloomberg.

Two weeks from a threatened default, U.S. House Republicans today plan to defy President Barack Obama’s promised veto by voting to slash spending and condition a $2.4 trillion debt-ceiling increase on passage of a constitutional amendment to balance the budget.

“Slashing” spending is and will always be a hyperbolic pronouncement with little chance of follow through. It’s as if the United States is going on a crash diet in which it subsists on a daily concoction of lemon juice, maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and water. Within a week, Canada and Mexico will find us unbearable.

No one wants to face the reality of our economic situation. It’s not like we can just cancel our cable (“We don’t even watch half these channels!”) and call it a day. And we’re certainly not going to end our $1,000 a day cocaine habit (replace “cocaine” with “military spending”).

Are there any real businesses that survived the recession with such crack-pipe proposals? There were lay-offs, hiring and wage freezes, and occasionally increased prices for their products. In other words, difficult decisions were made. Meanwhile, the United States wants to cease wasting money on paper clips and plastic spoons in the company cafeteria. That will stop the bleeding.

A constitutional amendment to balance the budget is what is called a “magic pill.” It’s tantamount to the CEO of Borders passing an edict banning Kindles. No one can answer how the law will change the conditions that make it impossible for us to achieve this now. And no one wants to answer the question as to how we balanced the budget the last time.

The Clinton years showed the effects of a large tax increase that Clinton pushed through in his first year… It fell almost exclusively on upper-income taxpayers. Clinton’s fiscal 1994 budget also contained some spending restraints. An equally if not more powerful influence was the booming economy and huge gains in the stock markets, the so-called dot-com bubble, which brought in hundreds of millions in unanticipated tax revenue from taxes on capital gains and rising salaries.

It’s most likely impossible to reproduce the conditions of the Clinton era. Most U.S. citizens are unwilling to wear all that flannel again or go to another Spice Girls concert. However, the political game being played of wanting to make a cheeseburger without using actual cheese or hamburger meat is going to inevitably reduce our economy into the drive-through at McDonald’s.

 
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Posted by on July 19, 2011 in Political Theatre

 

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