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Category Archives: Political Theatre

Cosmo Explains It All For You…

Cosmo puts the Edward Snowden/NSA leak story into perspective… not an especially rational one, mind you, but a perspective nonetheless.

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Will “Cosmo” finally crack the secret to “mindblowing” sex?

According to a new profile of Snowden in The Guardian, before he made the decision to come forward, Snowden was a contractor for NSA with a cushy paycheck (about $200,000) and a long-term girlfriend in Hawaii. But, as he’s said in interviews, knowing about the encroaching on the private lives of citizens was weighing heavily on him…

So he told his clueless girlfriend — you can only imagine what she might be feeling now — that he had to take a trip, and bailed. Considering he’s deep in hiding now, it is safe to assume that this is probably the first she’s heard about him since. It’s understandable why he would not want to involve her, but difficult to imagine your boyfriend being caught up in one of the largest scandals our country’s ever seen. She’s probably terrified that the government will question her due to her affiliation with Snowden, even if she knows nothing about his plans.

Maybe she’s turned on by his commitment to transparency. Maybe dating a fugitive long distance will make the heart grow fonder. But if not, this is going to be one dramatic breakup.

The author lists Snowden’s “long-term girlfriend” like one of the nifty accessories he sacrificed for principle, along with his “cushy paycheck.” Because the author has done nothing resembling journalism, she asks us to “imagine what (Snowden’s girlfriend) might be feeling now.” Like Han Solo, I can “imagine quite a bit,” but I’d hope that a professional publication wouldn’t rely on my imagination to fill in the blanks. This isn’t Muppet Babies.

And it’s it possible that Snowden’s girlfriend admires and respects his decision rather than it simply “turning her on” like some Pavlovian dog with a fetish for candor: “Blow the whistle, baby! Blow it!”

Anyway, I’m glad that Cosmo pointed out that aside from facing possible charges of treason, Snowden might have to re-enter the dating pool.

 

 

 

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David Brooks on Edward Snowden…

David Brooks impresses me with his piece in The New York Times on Edward Snowden. I don’t agree with a lot of his conclusions, but I like that Brooks doesn’t leap at the chance to use Snowden as a blunt instrument against President Obama, as some conservatives are doing.

More importantly, I think, is that Brooks takes aim at modern libertarianism, which has often been a strange bedfellow with today’s Republican party.

If you live a life unshaped by the mediating institutions of civil society, perhaps it makes sense to see the world a certain way: Life is not embedded in a series of gently gradated authoritative structures: family, neighborhood, religious group, state, nation and world. Instead, it’s just the solitary naked individual and the gigantic and menacing state.

This lens makes you more likely to share the distinct strands of libertarianism that are blossoming in this fragmenting age: the deep suspicion of authority, the strong belief that hierarchies and organizations are suspect, the fervent devotion to transparency, the assumption that individual preference should be supreme. You’re more likely to donate to the Ron Paul for president campaign, as Snowden did.

Brooks does not overtly condemn the Tea Party but I can’t help but think he has them in mind when he writes the following:

But Big Brother is not the only danger facing the country. Another is the rising tide of distrust, the corrosive spread of cynicism, the fraying of the social fabric and the rise of people who are so individualistic in their outlook that they have no real understanding of how to knit others together and look after the common good.

 

 

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Beware Yogi Bear…

Republican candidate for Virgina lieutenant governor E.W. Jackson, like most black men, has an issue with yoga (c’mon, just try to remember the last black guy you saw in a yoga class):

When one hears the word meditation, it conjures an image of Maharishi Yoga talking about finding a mantra and striving for nirvana… The purpose of such meditation is to empty oneself… [Satan] is happy to invade the empty vacuum of your soul and possess it. That is why people serve Satan without ever knowing it or deciding to, but no one can be a child of God without making a decision to surrender to him. Beware of systems of spirituality which tell you to empty yourself. You will end up filled with something you probably do not want.

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Yogi wants to steal your pic-a-nic basket and claim your soul for Satan’s mantlepiece.

OK. So, apparently, the GOP is still using the same service to clear its candidates that produced Todd Akin.

(Jackson) has compared Planned Parenthood to the KKK, he’s said gays are “frankly very sick people,” and that homosexuality “poisons culture.”… The National Review ticks through a few issues that show Jackson’s surprising moderation: “he wouldn’t support any sort of ban on gay sex,” and “would oppose a constitutional amendment naming Christianity as America’s official religion.”

Oh, and he also thinks that God wants you to give him lots of money.

For example, as you read this book, you may feel a deep spiritual affinity for the things I am teaching and therefore a profound spiritual kinship with me. We may never meet in person, but you can draw on the anointing which God has placed on my life by sowing into my ministry. That opens a spiritual door for you to partake at a deeper level and for me to impart to you as one in Covenant with me. That is how I have come to support other ministries. Wherever you are moved to give, do it consistently and generously. This will start a flow of prosperity in your life which will enhance all the other principles you have learned.

Take it away, Rev.

 

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Portland: Home of the Fresh Mouth

Portland , which is famous for its wine, coffee, and sugary, bacon-topped doughnuts, rejected a plan to add fluoride to the city’s water supply. However, they did embrace Ra’s al Ghul’s proposal to lace the water supply with the Scarecrow’s fear toxin. Portland likes to keep it weird.

“There’s a libertarian component to Oregon politics … a kind of opposition to what the establishment might want,” said Bill Lunch, a political science professor at Oregon State University.

I don’t think that’s “libertarianism” so much as being a teenager or that smelly guy at the coffee house who tries to force on you some rambling screed he wrote on looseleaf hemp.

What I found interesting about this vote is that the proposal had a great deal of support from the city’s “communities of color,” which means that the threshold for a community is three people and the tan lady with curly hair and green eyes who has everyone in the office wondering. Oh, and that this wasn’t happening all ready.

For the fourth time since 1956, Portlanders on Tuesday night rejected a plan to fluoridate city water, 60 percent to 40 percent.

Studies indicate that fluoridation reduces cavities and adults and children. Negative side effects are either cosmetic (i.e. fluorosis) or non-existent, crazy-talk conspiracy theories. Because so many other cities drink fluoridated water, there are decades of compelling evidence that it’s not harmful.

Cavities, though, are a long-term problem and expensive to correct (i.e. fillings, crowns, bridge work). However, in fairness, Portlanders can avoid most of that with proper oral hygiene and regular visits to the dentist. By the way, is it too late for me to go to dental school?

 

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Now time for “False Equivalency Theatre”…

20130520-154323.jpg I saw this plastered on a sign post in Capitol Hill. I guess it makes sense. I sometimes leave my loaded lesbian lying around where a small child can reach her and fire her at himself or another child. I also stockpile lesbians in the event I need to defend myself against a tyrannical government. And this country’s laughably easy access to lesbians results in a disturbing number of deaths each year.

Also, is that a bullet bracelet? What is the fashion goal here?

 
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Posted by on May 20, 2013 in Political Theatre

 

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Good Guys with Guns…

The senseless death of Hostra student Andrea Rebello further underscores the calculated stupidity the NRA promotes with its insistence that the best answer to gun violence is “good guys with guns.”

Hofstra University student Andrea Rebello was killed by a police officer’s bullet after a masked intruder held a loaded gun to her head in a Long Island home and then took aim at the officer, Nassau County police said.

Rebello and the intruder were both killed after a split-second decision by the Nassau County police officer, authorities said. Police said Rebello was being held in a headlock by a masked intruder when the officer fired eight times, one shot hitting Rebello in the head.

Things can go horribly wrong even when a highly trained officer is involved. No civilian is as qualified to handle this type of situation, as that rather arrogantly implies that someone can accomplish in their spare time what a police officer dedicates his life to doing professionally.

The NRA would tell me that civilians have no choice but to arm themselves in response to armed criminals. However, the best response would be doing everything possible to limit the ridiculously easy access criminals have to guns in this country.

 
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Posted by on May 20, 2013 in Political Theatre

 

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Ann Romney, working stiff…

During a scene in a Law & Order: Criminal Intent episode, Dets. Goren and Eames ask a suspect about his whereabouts during a murder. He explains that he was “babysitting” his kids. This irks Eames, who responds, “Oh, I love when men say they have to babysit their kids. If they’re your kids, it’s not babysitting. It’s called being a dad.”

This popped into my head during the uproar over Democratic strategist Hilary Rosen’s statement, for which she later apologized, that Ann Romney, wife of the presidential candidate, had “never worked a day in her life.” This is only true in the factual sense. However, it was considered an attack on stay-at-home mothers. Mrs. Romney responded that her “career choice” was being a mother. This is probably poorer wording than Rosen’s. I presume she was not a professional surrogate, so is she actually saying rearing her own kids was a “job”?

I was raised by a stay-at-home mother. It was great for me and arguably even better for my father, who never had to cook a meal, wash a dish, or do laundry for most of his life. I remember when my mother was in the hospital in 1991. My father and I lived up the bachelor lifestyle. We even had dinner at Quincy’s Steakhouse one night. It was cool for about a day. Then we noticed the dirty clothes that refused to clean themselves, the tumbleweeds drifting through the house, and the creature with tentacles that tried to grab me when I opened the refrigerator.

My father worked long hours, often six days a week, without complaint, just as my mother took care of the house and our sorry asses seven days a week without complaint. I wouldn’t consider it an insult to say that my father had never spent time in a grocery store. So why is it an insult to say that my mother had no professional experience? Aren’t both statements fair and accurate?

I recall during the late 1980s when there was this need to “justify” homemaking. Housewives weren’t just Peggy Bundy stereotypes eating bon-bons and watching Oprah all day. No, they were actually chauffeurs, cooks, housekeepers, psychiatrists (I always thought the last one was a stretch, as few kids grow up well adjusted). Why, a housewife was a “five-figure occupation.” That struck me as offensive. First off, why wouldn’t you expect someone to clean her own house and take care of her kids? Who else is going to do it? Octavia Spencer? Also, a wife is an equal partner to her husband. A stay-at-home mother is not her spouse’s contracted employee. If that was the case, then my father somehow wound up marrying Florence from The Jeffersons.

“Work” is defined as “activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result,” so I suppose that includes Mrs. Romney and pretty much everyone but Kim Kardashian. Now, a “job” is defined as a “paid position of regular employment.” Mrs. Romney has a “couple Cadillacs” but not one of those (limited space in the sixth house to store it). That was most likely Rosen’s point, the one everyone will miss because it is more politically expedient to focus on her arguably poor word choice.

These days, people with jobs are afraid of losing their positions outright or being replaced by someone younger and cheaper. That was never a concern for Mrs. Romney. It’s not like she married Newt Gingrich.

 

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Rocky Horror Obama Show…

Blogger Tara Servatius lost her job at the John Locke Foundation for this photoshopped image of Barack Obama intended to satirize his opposition to a North Carolina gay marriage ban.

Uncertain how Obama hopes to fit into outfits like this after eating a bucket of fried chicken.

Her explanation:

“I was searching for a picture of the president in drag to illustrate his southern political strategy of courting young voters, 70 percent of whom support gay marriage.”

It’s unclear whether her point is that gays or young people or both like to dress like Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

“It was one of the first photos to come up on Google Images. Regrettably, I didn’t think about the racial implications of the picture when I posted it. I simply don’t think in those terms. Unfortunately some people do.

To me, fried chicken is simply a southern cuisine.”

If Ms. Servatius cracked open a book once in a while, the history of racially charged images in this country wouldn’t be such a shock to her. She might also spare us the insult of applying the phrase “Southern strategy,” which Republicans used to woo racist Southerners from the Democratic party in the late 1960s, to a black president opposing discriminatory legislation.

Asserting a Pollyannaish world view is precious and all but it might result in the sort of cluelessness that ends up with someone working at the John Locke Foundation in the first place.

Also, KFC is theoretically Southern but practically speaking not cuisine.

 

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All you need to know about John Edwards…

From a 2008 interview:

Like school on Sunday… no class.

 

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Black Kids and Skittles: A Deadly Combination…

A life cut short.

The murder — and I’ve seen no evidence to classify it otherwise — of Trayvon Martin reinforces the very real dangers that black Americans still face.

Around 7 p.m. on February 26, 17-year-old Trayvon Martin walked out of the gated community near Orlando where he was visiting his father to go get some Skittles at a neighborhood convenience store. On his way home, Martin somehow aroused the suspicions of neighborhood watch leader, George Zimmerman, who called 911 to report the boy.

When police arrived, Martin was dead, shot by a bullet from Zimmerman’s 9mm semi-automatic handgun.

Zimmerman had been advised by 911 to not approach Martin and wait for the police. Zimmerman ignored this advice so what could have just been embarrassing for Martin — explaining his sinister Skittles addiction to the authorities — turned lethal.

There is no evidence of “suspicious” activity. I’m admittedly weird but I consider it more suspicious to stalk an unarmed teenager with a 9mm than to shop at a convenience store in your father’s neighborhood.

Zimmerman approached Martin without provocation or legal grounds. Martin was not in the process of committing a crime other than “arousing Zimmerman’s suspicions.” Any concern should have been abated by the 911 call. The police were on their way. Zimmerman chose to escalate the situation. Zimmerman chose to initiate the confrontation. And now Martin is dead.

Zimmerman, 28, who was bleeding from the nose and back of his head when police found him, claimed the two got in a scuffle and that he shot the boy in self-defense.

Can you really claim self-defense in a fight you started? That makes no sense. I also usually hold adults responsible for any “scuffles” they get into with teenagers. When I was 17, I was still under orders from my mother not to talk to strangers (she actually never rescinded those instructions). Doesn’t Martin have the right to be left alone? He is under no obligation to explain himself to someone who is not a police officer. If this were a 17-year-old woman Zimmerman approached, we certainly wouldn’t have expected her to stop and chat with a strange man against her wishes.

Zimmerman’s hardly life-threatening injuries could be the result of Martin’s attempts to flee. It’s also possible an altercation arose because Martin was just pissed that Zimmerman treated him like a suspect (it does get old). It bears repeating that Martin was 17 years old. Even Morgan Freeman was rash at 17. Shouldn’t we expect an adult to defuse a situation with a possibly frightened and upset kid? Or does he just become a potential threat to be neutralized once he hits puberty?

Don’t expect immediate answers to these questions because Zimmerman hasn’t been charged with anything.

Martin’s family, not surprisingly, is outraged, and calling for Zimmerman’s arrest.

“What gave him the right to think he was judge, jury and executioner?” asks Martin’s uncle, Ronald Fulton.

The answer to his question may be simple: the state of Florida, which in 2005 enacted one of the nation’s strongest so-called “stand your ground” self-defense laws. According to the statute, a person in Florida is justified in using deadly force against another if he or she “reasonably believes it is necessary to do so to prevent death or great bodily harm to himself or herself or another or to prevent the commission of a forcible felony.”

I would think that the bar rises on what is a “reasonable” threat to your life when you have a gun and the best the other guy can do is make you “taste the rainbow.”

This is idiotic — so much so you’d think the NRA was involved. Oh wait.

According to the National Rifle Association – which has lobbied for and in some cases assisted in writing laws expanding self-defense statutes – since 2006, at least 29 states have passed amended self-defense laws that the gun rights advocacy group supports, including four last year. Although each state’s statute is slightly different, generally, this new crop of laws allows citizens to use deadly force on someone they reasonably believe is a threat to their life. Instead of having a so-called “duty to retreat” from perceived danger, a citizen can “stand their ground” and meet force with force. Some laws also create immunity from civil lawsuits for those found to have reasonably used deadly force.

So instead of retreating from danger like a sissy, you are legally allowed to confront danger head on like a deranged Dirty Harry or, more simply, Dirty Harry. Who needs the police or even police training as long as you have a gun and think someone is “suspicious”?  Even better — Florida is a concealed carry state. Zimmerman himself has a permit. If someone looks “suspicious” to you, the possibility that they’re packing heat can also crank your paranoia up a notch.

How is this helpful? Doesn’t enabling irrational fear promote an environment where there’s a very real fear that someone might kill you if you look at them the wrong way? Or if you just happen to look the wrong way.

…Allen County, Indiana prosecutor Karen Richards, who has prosecuted cases involving claims of self-defense, says that the new laws simply “solidify what juries were feeling anyway. If you’re in a place where you have a right to be and you have a reasonable belief you need to use deadly force, juries don’t think you need to retreat.”

Wasn’t Martin in a place “where he (had) a right to be”? If he saw that Zimmerman had a gun, wouldn’t he also have a “reasonable belief” that he had to protect himself? What if Zimmerman made it clear that retreat was not an option? We only have Zimmerman’s word for what transpired.

“In this case Mr. Zimmerman has made the statement of self-defense,” (Sanford Police Chief Bill) Lee said. “Until we can establish probable cause to dispute that, we don’t have the grounds to arrest him.”

Probable cause? Zimmerman’s own story and actions are probable cause. He’s not a police officer. Martin didn’t fit the description of some baby-faced serial killer. That’s the problem with Urban Cowboy justice. Zimmerman had no authority to stop and hold Martin against his will. Even if a police officer had arrested Martin for no good reason, he would have recourse after the fact. He could also reasonably believe that they weren’t going to mug him or kill him.

Thus far, there is no indication that Trayvon Martin was in the commission of any sort of crime when he was approached by Zimmerman, who was reportedly driving an SUV. Still, judging by the fact that he has not been arrested and the case has been referred to the state’s attorney, law enforcement seems to be struggling to determine whether Zimmerman’s actions fall within the scope of the Florida law.

Remember 20 years ago when we got all mad because the cops who beat Rodney King like a chocolate-stuffed pinata were acquitted? Or back in 2000, when the cops who mowed down an unarmed Amadou Diallo walked? Or Sean Bell in 2006 … well, you get the idea. But those cases had trials. Lawyers. Changes of venue. If a white guy’s going to kill me, all I ask is that he has to put on a suit and take a few days off of work. After Selma and the March on Washington, I thought black men had reached a point where our deaths would at least be a mild inconvenience.

It reminds me of what Richard Wright wrote in his memoir, Black Boy. He recalled young friends of his who simply vanished. He referred to this as “the white death, the threat of which hung over every male black in the South.”

George Zimmerman shot an unarmed child. And then he went home. That bothers me more than rising gas prices.

 

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