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Category Archives: Pop Life

The End of Discourse…

Our clips of today — not that I really do clips of the day — are appearances in the late ’70s by Ayn Rand on the Phil Donahue and Tom Snyder shows. Phil is still with us. Tom is not, unfortunately. Both were good conversationalists, as they actually listened to what their guests had to say and asked challenging but not contentious questions. I don’t agree with most of what Rand or even Donahue believe, but it’s fascinating to see people with such divergent perspectives have a cordial and engaging discussion. Those days are behind us, and we are the worst for it.

 

 

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Kanye, Seth, and the “n-word”…

Welcome to 2012 where publications still fire writers for using the word “nigger” (and in this case, its variant “nigga”).

Gawker released (a middle-class term for “fired”) writer Seth Abramovitch because of the following post regarding Kanye West, the rapper who has never used the “n-word” professionally unless you include his music.

(Yes, there’s a song called “Niggas in Paris.” I reviewed the lyrics online and curiously, there are no references to Josephine Baker or James Baldwin.)

In the space of two hours, Kanye West has tweeted 60 times and counting on, uh, his earnest pursuits in the realm of fashion and graphic design and nutrition and architecture and video games and publicity and medicine and law and science and app guys. You think Tom Ford is full of himself? Kanye West shits Tom Fords for breakfast. Then he irons out the shits into cutting-edge fabrics, and frantically cuts, sews, and laces that fabric through the night and into the morning, until he has produced the most unbelievable clothes — nay, FASHION + ART = FARTSHION! — in the universe. And he calls these clothes DONDA. But he calls all that other stuff DONDA, too! DONDA will be your everything. Just you wait and see. And what is DONDA? It’s an acronym for Dis Original N***a Dresses Aight.*

This resulted in an immediate uproar online. Abramovitch apologized, which was apparently deemed “half-assed,” so he was fired.

“Donda” is the name of West’s deceased mother, so the post was certainly in poor taste. Gawker is within its rights to fire writers who post things in poor taste, but Gawker’s also a gossip site, which is the definition of poor taste.

Clearly, Abramovitch was fired for using the word “nigga” in the same post in which he used the word “shit.” The post was meant to be humorous — we should consider the intent even if the execution was unsuccessful — but it still cost him his job in a lousy economy.

He was also arguably fired because he was white. It’s hard to imagine a similar outrage if the author had been black. And it’s not like a black person would have never considered saying the word “nigga.” Chris Rock uses the word all the time in his acts. He’s also used the word “faggot” and he’s not gay. He’s also used the word “bitch,” and he’s not female. So, perhaps there’s a double standard at work.

Reuters referred to the word as “an unpalatable racial slur,” but it’s a constant presence in rap music. A society in which the word is referred to euphemistically and in hushed tones in some quarters but is blast loudly from a stereo at a party in other quarters is an extremely divided society.

I don’t endorse running around calling black people “niggers.” This isn’t my childhood in the South. But the word should be considered within its context, just like any other word. A post mocking Kanye West, a rapper who uses the word frequently himself, is different from a National Review article about Barack Obama. “Nigga” in the latter case would be inappropriate. As far as context goes, I thought the “If I Were a Poor Black Kid” article in Forbes was far more racially insulting than the Gawker post. Abramovitch only used “nigga” once, while the Forbes piece used it metaphorically at least about three dozen times.

Almost 40 years after Richard Pryor released “That Nigger’s Crazy,” I don’t know why people still fear the word “nigger.” Marcia Clark couldn’t even say it in open court during the O.J. Simpson murder trial when confronting a racist witness. The word lost its power to wound when blacks gained the power to respond. They didn’t have to just grin, tap dance, and bear it. As the “Saturday Night Live” sketch with Chevy Chase and Richard Pryor demonstrated, calling a black man “nigger” is a good way to end up with a “dead honkey.”

 
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Posted by on January 6, 2012 in Pop Life, Social Commentary

 

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License to be Annoying…

I’ve followed the cell phone use while driving ban discussion and I confess a certain bias, as I’m not a fan of mobile phones or even static phones for that matter. I probably inherited this from my mother, who hated talking on the phone. In fact, we were without a phone entirely for about three blissfully quiet years in my youth. Yes, it was significantly more difficult to get in touch with us. No, that was not a bad thing.

I have a cell phone now. I enjoy the convenience, but I don’t understand how it became a necessity. I recall an ex-girlfriend of mine who would always answer her cell phone when it rang — no matter what else she was doing. Watching a movie, reading a book, eating a meal, driving a car, cheating on me — if it rang, she answered. I pointed out that prior to cell phones, if someone tried to reach us during those moments, the call would usually go to voice mail or to an answering machine and we’d call them back later. Rarely, did we miss a brief window to receive an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii or to say goodbye to our dying aunt in Hawaii (in which case the prevous all-expenses paid trip would have come in handy). Yet, now we will instantly stop what we’re doing to answer the ringing cell phone.

Perhaps it’s human nature to make convenience mandatory. Prior to answering machines, if you were expecting an important call, you had to stay at home, close to the phone. Once answering machines came along, we started screening calls, which helped us to avoid telemarketers and nosy neighbors.

Call-waiting allowed us to avoid getting a busy signal if we’re calling someone who’s already on the phone. However, that eventually led to someone clicking over to the incoming call every five seconds: “What? Your call broke down on a road and there’s a guy with a hook coming toward you? Wait… sorry, I have another call.”

It occurs to me that these conveniences led to a lack of courtesy. Call waiting is the equivalent of trying to have a conversation with someone and being constantly interrupted. Worse, the person you’re talking to actually brushes you off to speak with the other person.

My issue with cell phones probably stems from the fact that I’m not much of a multi-tasker. If I’m listening to music, I am listening to music. It does not serve as background. If I’m reading a book, I am focused on the book. If I’m watching TV, don’t dare come between me and “The Avengers.”

Cell phones and cars also manage to combine my two least favorite things into a Reese’s Peanut Butter cup of frustration. My fear of a head-on collision is exacerbated by the knowledge that my fellow drivers are updating their Facebook statuses while behind the wheel. Last words have gotten far less profound in our Facebook and Twitter world. We’ve gone from “More light!” (Goethe) to “Gym was crowded today. Waited 20 minutes for elliptical.” In retrospect, maybe the Facebook post was more elucidating than Goethe.

I know some people believe banning cell phone use while driving is excessive legislation, just like seat belts laws (it’s fun for kids to bounce around the car; it also tires them out) and the requirement that vehicles have a sealed floor (Flintstone locomotion is more fuel efficient than the best hybrid).

However, if on your next flight, you discovered that the pilot was eating McDonald’s take-out, listening to Kool & the Gang with the bass thumping, and talking on her cell, you’d be horrified. But she’s at least a professional pilot. The kid doing the same thing at 70 miles per hour on the freeway just got his license last week. He’s hardly as accomplished as the drivers in “Ronin.”

Things might have changed since I received my license 20 years ago, but I was not allowed to eat food, have the radio on, or send telegrams to my friends during the road test. If it’s expected that people are going to drive with countless distractions, it seems reasonable that those distractions are present during the test. If you can still pass, fine, you are awarded with a license to drive and be annoying.

 
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Posted by on January 5, 2012 in Pop Life, Social Commentary

 

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The Country of Pig People..

Zeke Miller wrote about Rick Santorum’s concerning popularity in Iowa:

Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum and his aides were frantically refreshing laptops and phones to see the results of Saturday’s Des Moines Register poll yesterday evening, results that showed him within striking distance of Mitt Romney, but it probably didn’t matter: The last surging Republican candidate is uniquely ill-suited to snatch the nomination from Mitt Romney.

Miller is right that Santorum won’t win the nomination, but I disagree that it doesn’t matter. It’s frankly as depressing as my high school prom night that a candidate “within striking distance” in Iowa of the likely nominee is someone who, in 2012, says things like this:

“Diversity creates conflict. If we celebrate diversity, we create conflict,” Santorum told the audience in Ottumwa.

Well, that’s not good. It’s also oddly familiar. Where have I previously heard such sentiments expressed?

“I say to you now…I say to you now that there is no such thing as a permissive society, because such a society cannot exist! They will scream at you and rant and rave and conjure up some dead and decadent picture of an ancient time when they said that all men are created equal! But to them equality was an equality of opportunity, an equality of status, an equality of aspiration! And then, in what must surely be the pinnacle of insanity, the absolute in inconsistency, they would have had us believe that this equality did not apply to form, to creed. They permitted a polyglot, accident-bred, mongrel-like mass of diversification to blanket the earth, to infiltrate and weaken! Well, we know now that there must be a single purpose! A single norm! A single approach! A single entity of peoples! A single virtue! A single morality! A single frame of reference! A single philosophy of government! We cannot permit… we must not permit the encroaching sentimentality of a past age to weaken our resolve. We must cut out all that is different like a cancerous growth! It is essential in this society that we not only have a norm, but that we conform to that norm. Differences weaken us. Variations destroy us. An incredible permissiveness to deviation from this norm is what has ended nations and brought them to their knees. Conformity we must worship and hold sacred. Conformity is the key to survival.”
The Twilight Zone, “Eye of the Beholder”

I often think of this “Twilight Zone” episode when I hear Santorum, or Michele Bachmann or Rick Perry rant against homosexuality. Donna Douglas’s character is seeking a “cure” for her “condition,” one that causes no harm to those who wish to marginalize her. Her “crime” is being different, and as we see, there’s no “cure” for that. Douglas is revealed to be beautiful underneath the bandages, and her tormentors ugly. But there’s more to it than that. What writer Rod Serling was really saying is that we become twisted, inhuman when we refuse to see the worth of others.

Even if Romney — who is hardly a champion of diversity but at least his primary residence is the planet Earth — wins on Tuesday, the majority of votes will be cast for Santorum, Bachmann, Perry, Newt Gingrich, and Ron Paul. These are all votes cast to make the United States a country of pig people.

 
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Posted by on January 2, 2012 in Political Theatre, Pop Life

 

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The Famous Celebrity Interview…

The only Famous Celebrity Interview you’ll ever need to read.

I am a writer who specializes in Famous Celebrity interviews. You are not interested in me but this feature will be in first person anyway. Famous Celebrity has agreed to meet me someplace in New York or Los Angeles that Famous Celebrity’s publicist believes will further the illusion of Famous Celebrity’s normality. Famous Celebrity is late, so I will share with you how I occupy my time while waiting for Famous Celebrity.

If we are meeting at a restaurant, I will describe it in every hip detail. If we are someplace else, I will make obvious comments about the people around me. You are not interested in this but I believe it adds color to my Famous Celebrity interview.

Famous Celebrity eventually arrives with an excuse intended to further underscore Famous Celebrity’s normality. If we are in New York, Famous Celebrity had trouble getting a cab or better yet was stuck on the subway with a sick passenger. If we are in L.A., Famous Celebrity was stuck in traffic. See, Famous Celebrity takes NYC public transportation or drives Famous Celebrity’s own car in L.A. If Famous Celebrity doesn’t do this, it’s because Famous Celebrity’s oppressive fame has robbed Famous Celebrity of the pleasures of sitting next to a strange person on the subway who smells lke urine or not moving for hours in rush-hour traffic.

Here is where I describe what Famous Celebrity looks like, even though Famous Celebrity is famous so you probably already know. Famous Celebrity is dressed casually so my description will serve as a counterpoint to the pictures by Famous Celebrity Photographer that accompany the article. If Famous Celebrity is female, the sexy photos of her wearing barely nothing will seem especially ironic as Famous Celebrity will make a point of commenting on how she is actually quite shy and does not feel sexy. My description of Famous Celebrity will include quotes from other articles about Famous Celebrity. My only original contribution is to state that these quotes are both true and yet not true.

If we are at a restaurant, Famous Celebrity orders a meal, which I describe in every possible Food Network detail because it is news to you that Famous Celebrity survives by consuming calories to replace the ones that Famous Celebrity expends during the course of the day. I also describe what I’m eating because I am part of this story.

A fan approaches Famous Celebrity and Famous Celebrity is quite gracious. I believe this is how Famous Celebrity always is because I can’t imagine Famous Celebrity’s behavior altering due to the presence of a writer for a national magazine. Famous Celebrity makes a living performing for people but I know that Famous Celebrity is the real deal during our meeting because Famous Celebrity could never fool me, a journalist.

If we are in New York, Famous Celebrity tells me how at home Famous Celebrity feels in the city. Famous Celebrity is not in New York often but has an apartment here in a trendy neighborhood. Famous Celebrity offers to take me on a tour of Famous Celebrity’s favorite spots in the neighborhood. If we are in Los Angeles, Famous Celebrity takes me on a drive in Famous Celebrity’s very expensive car. If Famous Celebrity is male, the car is possibly one that he collects and restored. If Famous Celebrity is female, she will have trouble finding things in the car, which I will find adorable. If Famous Celebrity is of the opposite sex, Famous Celebrity makes me feel as if we’re on a date. If Famous Celebrity is the same sex, Famous Celebrity makes me feel like we’re buddies. If Famous Celebrity is gay, Famous Celebrity does not talk about it.

At some point, I pull out my tape recorder or notebook, depending on how retro I am. I also mention that I’m doing this so that you remember that I’m a reporter. It’s possible you forgot when I described getting a mani-pedi with Famous Celebrity or sampling local beers at Famous Celebrity’s favorite microbrewery.

I then get tough with Famous Celebrity — I am a journalist, after all — and inquire about Famous Celebrity’s Famous Celebrity Scandal. Famous Celebrity is pensive, caught off guard by my probing questions, but recovers in time to repeat what Famous Celebrity carefully rehearsed with Famous Celebrity’s publicist.

“What people don’t understand,” Famous Celebrity says, “is that the situation is far more complicated than the media makes it out to be.”

Although I am part of the media, I know that Famous Celebrity does not consider me part of the media that Famous Celebrity dislikes. I know this because Famous Celebrity and I are on a date or are buddies hanging out together.

Famous Celebrity does not enjoy the celebrity culture. Famous Celebrity’s famous celebrity friends, who I also interview and who Famous Celebrity refers to by their first names, tell me how not a part of that culture Famous Celebrity is. Famous Celebrity just wants to do Famous Celebrity’s job. Although these interviews are technically part of that job, Famous Celebrity wants to just do Famous Celebrity’s job without the interviews, as the lunches at fancy NY restaurants and drives down the California coastline at sunset are as tedious as your job’s Monday morning budget meetings are for you. We joke a bit about some of the dumb things Famous Celebrity has been asked in previous interviews. I know that I’ve not asked Famous Celebrity anything that Famous Celebrity will later joke about with another writer.

I realize the whole point of the interview is to promote Famous Celebrity’s current project. However, writing this interview like a short story is what separates me from the guys who work in advertising. I am a creative person, just like Famous Celebrity. During our date or time hanging out, we discuss creative things and I believe Famous Celebrity gets me and gets that I get Famous Celebrity.

Famous Celebrity feels a bit trapped in the business and after Famous Celebrity’s next high-paying project, Famous Celebrity will take some time off — maybe start a family because that’s something people can only really do when not working. If Famous Celebrity already has a family, Famous Celebrity will comment on how being a parent has changed Famous Celebrity.

Famous Celebrity might also run for political office or do some work for the U.N. because Famous Celebrity has opinions that are similar to yours but are also unique because Famous Celebrity is famous and has met the president.

After our time together has ended, Famous Celebrity contacts me a few days later to clarify a point Famous Celebrity had made. It is especially cool if Famous Celebrity calls because Famous Celebrity remembered the ingredient in a recipe Famous Celebrity and I had discussed. I like including this part because it reinforces that Famous Celebrity has my phone number.

Sometimes Famous Celebrity contacts me to ask that I not print an offhand comment Famous Celebrity made. The statement has no news value and I probably wouldn’t have included it anyway. However, now I must because Famous Celebrity asked me to remove it and I am a journalist.

 
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Posted by on December 27, 2011 in Pop Life, Social Commentary

 

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Revisiting “A Christmas Carol”…

“A Christmas Carol,” which Charles Dickens wrote in 1843, combines the chilling thrills of a ghost story fit for Halloween but delivered two months late with the spirit-lifting redemption of the best Christmas story.

From the political lens through which I view all entertainment, “A Christmas Carol” fascinates me in its complexity: It is simultaneously a promotion of the rights of the underclass and the abuse it faces from the wealthy and an illustrative example of how charity comes best from the individual rather than the government. It is also distinctly religious yet not really: The spirits are not necessarily guardian angels of the Cary Grant (“The Bishop’s Wife”) and Henry Travers (“It’s a Wonderful Life”) variety. The story is more a distilliation of Christ’s teachings without the fire and damnation.

Scrooge is a bitter, money-obsessed old man. His clerk, Bob Cratchit, must work in bleak conditions (Scrooge is as stingy with the coal supply as he is everything else). Cratchit has no recourse. There is no mention of his choosing to work for someone more amenable. He must bite his tongue and accept the treatment his master doles out.

When Scrooge’s nephew arrives to invite him to Christmas dinner, Scrooge runs down Christmas as a waste of time. He is not entirely incorrect in what he observes: Life — especially in Victorian England — is pretty crummy and it’ll be crummy after Christmas. What good does it do anyone to try to forget that for one measly day? It is thus a “humbug,” a “hoax” or “jest.” Scrooge’s nephew doesn’t disagree with Scrooge’s assessment but with how Scrooge chooses to react to this reality. OK, life is bad, but if it can be less so for just one day, maybe it can be better every day of the year, and if not, one good day out of 364 bad ones is better than nothing. Cratchit applauds the sentiment and Scrooge threatens to fire him. He cruelly points out that Cratchit least of all has any reason to believe in the merriness of Christmas — too many kids and too little money. Here we see that Scrooge knows the “price of everything and the value of nothing” (a memorable line from the Susan Lucci adaptation of “A Christmas Carol” in 1995).

Scrooge does, though, grant Cratchit the day off for Christmas. He complains about it but he doesn’t insist that the need to make more money on “doorbuster” specials demands that Cratchit spend the day away from his family. Even the drive for profit had its limits in those days.

Scrooge is also visited by gentlemen soliciting for a charity. The exchange here is famous for Scrooge’s asking them “are there no prisons” or “union workhouses.” However, in contrast to many politicians today, Scrooge does not object to their existence. He simply wishes to be “left alone” in so far as providing anything on an individual level. He pays enough to support the existing institutions and can’t afford to make “idle” people merry. The use of the word “idle” underscores a belief, common even today, that the poor are poor by choice or are lazy. If they worked harder, their issues would resolve themselves. Regardless, it doesn’t involve Scrooge, arguably the first Libertarian.

Dickens diverges from Biblical teaches in Scrooge’s encounter with Marley, who warns him of his upcoming visit from the three spirits. Unlike that trio, Marley is clearly damned but you don’t get the impression that he’s burning in hell. No, his punishment is the inability to either enjoy or promote happiness — two gifts that Scrooge is currently squandering. When Scrooge attempts to console Marley by complimenting his life as a businessman, Marley is quick to correct him: “Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!”

Today we proclaim that corporations are people yet at the same time debate whether certain people are even people. This is the same folly that consumed Marley. I always wondered why Marley never got the opportunity for redemption that Scrooge did. Or perhaps Marley had the chance and refused to take it. Either way, Marley is for this one night able to make mankind his business — a Christmas gift for both Scrooge and himself.

Scrooge’s first visitor is the Ghost of Christmas Past. Scrooge’s childhood had been difficult, and we glimpse the roots of his current misanthropy. As a youth, he’d apprenticed for the magnamious Mr. Fezziwig, who is the complete opposite of the adult Scrooge. Instead of whining about having to give his staff the day off for Christmas, Fezziwig throws a grand office party on Christmas Eve. His employees probably don’t suffer from frostbite, either. I’ve seen firsthand the Fezziwig approach vanish from the workplace. The standard list of excuses has replaced it: In a “merit-based” culture, the cost of a Christmas party for everyone is better spent on Christmas bonuses for the few. And what good does an office party serve anyway? Scrooge himself is quick to respond to this theory:

“(Fezziwg) has the power to render us happy or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is impossible to add and count them up: what then? The happiness he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune.”

As soon as the words are spoken, Scrooge realizes that he has the power to do these things but doesn’t. He pursues profit instead. If profit is the goal, people will always suffer. Fezziwig no doubt sees the success of his company as a responsibility. His goal is to provide a decent living for his workers. Scrooge’s goal is merely to make a profit.

This theme continues during Scrooge’s visit with the Ghost of Christmas Present. He takes him to see the Cratchits on Christmas Day. Cratchit’s son, Tiny Tim, is not long for the world. The spark of humanity lingering in Scrooge wonders if there’s any way Tim might live. The Spirit informs him that if the course of events isn’t altered, Tim will die, but quoting Scrooge, “he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.” Scrooge had previously spoken with the Darwinian harshness of distance. Imagine how much easier that is to do now with global corporations boasting thousands of employees. When Wal-Mart cuts health insurance for its part time employees, the CEO — safely remote in his gated community — has no insight into the long-term pain that is caused for short-term profit.

The Ghost of Christmas Present challenges Scrooge to “forbear his wicked cant,” to reflect on “what the surplus is and where it is.” The trap so many fall into is to view misfortunate as a choice, to hold poverty in as much contempt as substance abuse. No one wants to think that the summer home paid for with the bonus money earned by downsizing people might have a human cost. And simply being on the top of the economic pyramid does not necessarily make you superior in any sense to those at the bottom.

This is where Dickens most clearly echoes the New Testament: “Will you decide what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions like this poor man’s child.”

This line is often interpreted as the spirit chastising Scrooge for daring to decide who “lives or who dies.” I think it’s the opposite: He’s condemning his inaction in the face of suffering. This inaction will send Tim to his death, something Scrooge can easily prevent if he opens his eyes to his responsibilities as a member of society.

For his part, Cratchit toasts Scrooge at Christmas dinner, acknowledging the role his employer pays in providing for his family. His wife is less gracious. Scrooge, she says, is “an odious, stingy, hard, unfeeling man.” She relents for his husband’s sake and the day’s and joins Cratchit in his toast. She believes Scrooge is bound to be “very merry and very happy.” She is wrong in thinking that Scrooge’s wealth alone would make him happy. We know — as his nephew does — that Scrooge’s cruelty punishes him as well. However, Mrs. Cratchit is correct that just because Scrooge rejects the comfort his wealth could provide himself and others, this does not excuse his ill treatment of those beneath him.

In a scene in the 1984 TV adaptation with George C. Scott that’s not in Dickens’s story, the Ghost of Christmas Present takes Scrooge to a desolate area where the poor huddle for warmth. Scrooge cannot believe people live like this: Women and children in rags. Why aren’t they in those nice workhouses, Scrooge wonders. He, of course, has never personally visited one. He has no knowledge of how miserable they are and how they separate families forever. He sees the desperation of poverty. A poor father laments that it’s not fair there’s no work. He wants to work. He sees that even the poor have a work ethic, even if they aren’t fortunate enough to be as wealthy as he.

Scrooge questions the Spirit, “What does this have to do with me?,” and the Spirit thunders, “Are they not of the human race?” Indeed. We then return to Dickens’s text, as the Spirit opens his robe to reveal two “wretched, abject, frightful, hideous, miserable” children — a boy, “Ignorance,” and a girl, “Want.” Scrooge, still in denial, asks if they belong to the Spirit, who informs him that they are the work of all mankind.

“Beware them both, and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the writing be erased. Deny it!” cried the Spirit, stretching out its hand towards the city. “Slander those who tell it ye. Admit it for your factious purposes, and make it worse. And abide the end.”

Great art is timeless, and these words could have been written today.

Every adaptation differs in its depiction of Scrooge’s reclamation. Some have him close to the light after his meeting with the first spirit. Others have him unmoved until he learns the potential fate of Tiny Tim. The original story allows the actors the flexibility to plot out Scrooge’s transformation. However, one question that is rarely asked is why Scrooge changes at all. This is what makes the story so uplifting for me. Scrooge is an old man. He’s seen how he’s wasted his life, how everything he thought he believed in was false and empty. This would break the average man. Why bother to change now? Standard Christian teaching would say eternal damnation is reason enough. Dickens, however, doesn’t go there.

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come shows Scrooge the inevitable end of his selfish life. He dies alone. Tiny Tim is dead. And the only true emotion over his passing is the relief a couple feels in knowing that their debt to him will be transferred to someone who couldn’t possibly be more loathsome. Scrooge is taken to his gravesite, where he begs the Spirit for a chance to change to course of his existence.

“I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me I may sponge away the writing on this stone!”

He obviously can’t avoid death, but what he wants to erase is his metaphorical death. He wants to live — even if just for the few years he has left.

This is naturally easy to grant. Much like Dorothy and her ruby slippers, Scrooge had the ability to change his world whenever he wanted. And the reformed Scrooge is a resoundingly bad businessman: He gives Cratchit an enormous turkey — a generous Christmas bonus. It’s not intended as an economic bribe to keep Cratchit from bolting to another company (as I’ve had bonuses explained to me in more flowery terms though the meaning was clear). It’s sent anonymously. It’s an acknowledgment of Cratchit’s hard work all year. That’s all.

Scrooge also doubles Cratchit’s salary and commits himself to helping Tiny Tim to walk again. What CEO would do this today? Double the staff’s salary for no reason other than they probably deserve it? It obviously won’t send Scrooge to the poorhouse, and we can only imagine the good it will do for the Cratchit family.

Yes, Scrooge is a bad businessman as we hear business defined today. It’s a definition that has crushed families and sunk the economy, but we refuse to sponge away those words. If we did, we could define business as Scrooge came to define it. He put people first and understood the responsibility of a business to remain profitable for the purpose of providing a living for its employees and not merely for profit’s sake. They’d call Scrooge a socialist today. I prefer to think of him as a man who understood his true business.

Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

 
 

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Homophobia or Satire?…

The comic Louis C.K. was interviewed on “Nightline,” where he defended recent homophobic comments by Tracy Morgan, who I am as reluctant to refer to as a comedian as I am to refer to Rick Santorum as a homosapien.

During a Nashville stand-up appearance in June, Morgan told a joke in which he said if his son talked to him in an effeminate voice, he would “stab that little (n word) in the throat.” The statement later sparked enormous public outrage and Morgan publicly apologized several times, making it clear that there was no excuse for his comments.

C.K. took to Morgan’s defense, saying at the time that he was “on a comedy stage, not a pulpit.” In a recent “Nightline” interview, C.K. told Weir that he thought the gay community missed a prime chance to have a discussion with Morgan, verses just attacking him for his comments.

“To me that joke is Tracy trying to figure it out, ‘my sons gay now, ok, but he better not talk like that cause I can’t it. I don’t know how to deal with it,’” C.K. told Weir. “He’s afraid of it or he’s confused by it and then he blasts through the whole idea with a joke. That’s what jokes are. You don’t tiptoe through the idea, you just go ‘I would stab that little (n word) in the throat,’ and that brings everybody a huge relief in a very scary place and makes them laugh.”

It’s fortunate that we have a straight white man to explain to homosexuals what they should find offensive. Stand up comedy tends to be a predominately masculine field and a lot of what passes for humor is overtly sexist, homophobic, or racist. It’s the playground bully making jokes about the fat kid. The other children laughed, as well. That didn’t make it art. What rises above mere bullying is when humor is used as a slingshot at the Goliaths of the world or when the Goliaths satirize themselves and their position of power (I always thought Steve Martin did that well).

Was Morgan really satirizing the unfortunate homophobia in many parts of the black community? Was he shining a harsh light on his own fears and failings as a father? Unlike Morgan, I’m not a parent, but I would venture to say that if you stab your son in the throat because he talks like Michael Jackson, you’re not a very good one.

It’s clear to me that Morgan’s “joke” was just cheap shock value at gays’ expense. C.K. might choose to bend over backwards to find some inner meaning and depth as if it’s “The Scarlet Letter” but none of that is in the routine itself. Why would any intelligent person regardless of sexual orientation think Morgan’s comments were the “starting point of a conversation” about homophobia. If I’m walking down a dark street and a group of guys shout out, “Hey fag!” I would not wander over to debate them.

As a comedian, C.K. should also know how important the punchline is. When do we laugh? And who are we laughing at? Morgan’s punchline is a father assaulting his gay son. The intent is for us to laugh at that image. Contrast this with Stephen Colbert, who plays the role of a homophobe on “The Colbert Report.”

“If we provide gay marriage, then that nullifies my marriage because I only got married to taunt gay people. I wrote my own vows and I quote: na-na-na-na-na.”

The punchlines are always Colbert’s ignorance. That’s what we’re supposed to find funny rather than his character’s misguided views on gays. Even if Morgan was playing a similar role in order to spark debate, he ultimately failed — just as if I put on a show identical to “Jersey Shore” and claimed I was just “satirizing” “Jersey Shore.”

C.K. has a daughter. If he joked that if he caught her studying law rather than reading “Cosmo,” he’d stab “the little bitch” in the throat, would we find this funny? I doubt it if the punchline was just child abuse — even if the intent was to satirize gender roles and sexism. If he went further — “I didn’t do it because I knew there’d be no way I’d win against her in court” — he might salvage it by turning it back on himself. However, Morgan attempted nothing of the sort.

C.K. has written for Chris Rock, who once joked that it wasn’t always wrong to call someone a faggot. “What if he was really acting like a faggot?” he asked. This was in the same routine where he says it’s never OK to call a black person nigger. Apparently, there’s no instance where a black person is really acting like a nigger.

The best humor allows those who are most often society’s victims to come out on top. This is why it’s unfortunate when a female comic spends her entire act running down herself — “Hey, guys, you think I’m shallow, self-absorbed, and obsessed with my appearance! You’re right. Now please laugh at me, because it’s also true that I’m desperate for attention.”

Gays hardly came out on top in Morgan’s routine, and yet C.K. wants to position them as the power-wielding arbiters of good taste who oppress the true artists of their world. It’s their own lack of humor that stalls dialogues that could in C.K.’s words “make a difference in how people feel about homophobia.”

Now, that is funny.

 
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Posted by on December 22, 2011 in Pop Life, Social Commentary

 

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Cathy Rigby is “Peter Pan”…

I just noticed that Cathy Rigby stars again in “Peter Pan,” this time at Madison Square Garden through the end of the year. The advertisements proclaim “Cathy Rigby is Peter Pan” and that’s not entirely hyperbole: Mary Martin originated the role on Broadway in 1954 and won a Tony Award for her performance. Sandy Duncan starred in the 1979 revival, but the former Olympic gymnast has been Peter Pan since 1990. She reprised the role in 1998, 1999, 2004, 2005, 2008, and again this year. By the way, Rigby turned 59 shortly before this year’s run.

My audacity in mentioning a woman’s age is trumped by how impressed I am that she’s still at it. This is a physically demanding role, and Rigby delivers with boundless energy that makes you think she might actually hail from Neverland.

I worked front of house for the 1998 run at the Marquis Theater on Broadway, as well as the 1999 run at the Gerswhin. I was sporadically working concessions on Broadway back then — sort of a reserve player called in on holidays. I’m a big fan of the “Peter Pan” musical and jumped at the chance to see it live. The night before Thanksgiving in 1998, I left the theater during the climax of Act II, when Tinkerbell is dying after sacrificing herself for Peter. As I was setting up for intermission, I heard a woman ask, “Is it safe to go back in now?” I turned and saw that the woman, seated on the floor, was holding a visibly upset girl of about 7 or 8.  “Sure,” I replied, as the applause from inside the theater grew louder, “the audience saved Tinkerbell. She’ll be fine.” The news clearly improved the girl’s mood, and the woman thanked me for the update.

I knew as soon as I’d heard her voice that the woman was Katie Couric, then of “The Today Show.” Her husband had died that year, which I presume had a great deal to do with her daughter’s distress. Faith doesn’t always save the ones we love, but for her sake, I was glad it had that night.

 

 
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Posted by on December 18, 2011 in Pop Life

 

December 16, 1988: Barnabas Collins’s Costume Party…

Back in 1988, the FOX affiliate, WAXA, in Greenville, SC started showing repeats of the 1960s gothic soap opera “Dark Shadows.” At the time, FOX only offered weekend programming (“The Tracey Ullman Show” and “Married… with Children”), so WAXA relied on a roster of syndicated shows during the week.

My mother was thrilled to see “Dark Shadows” again. Growing up in the 1960s, she’d been one of the first wave of fans. She switched on Channel 40 every day at 7:30 p.m., right after dinner (sometimes during, sometimes before — she sort of ran her own schedule in that department). Although our interests didn’t always intersect, I was quickly hooked after seeing Barnabas Collins (Jonathan Frid) arrive at the family mansion, Collinwood, “from England” and introduce himself in the politest way possible. I wanted to be just like him — well, except for the drinking blood part.

Christmas break from school that year began on Friday, December 16. That evening’s “DS” episode was a culmination of a storyline in which scoundrel Jason McGuire’s (Dennis Patrick) plans to blackmail family matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard (Joan Bennett) backfires. Ordered to leave town and desperate for money, McGuire sneaks into Barnabas Collins’s house in order to steal a fortune in jewels. It doesn’t end well for him.

The episodes airing the week before Christmas were notable for their initial attempts at humanizing the vampire, as he sets his sights on Victoria Winters (Alexandra Moltke) and throws a costume party at his home in which his guests will dress in 18th century clothing. One of my mother’s favorite Barnabas Collins lines comes when his servant Willie Loomis (John Karlen) insists that the Collinses would never agree to wear period costumes. “How fortunate for me,” he retorts, “that you are merely my servant and not my adviser!” My mother would often quote that line if I demanded to do something she knew was folly: “How fortunate for me that you are merely my son and not my adviser!”

WAXA went bankrupt and then off the air entirely in 1989, so I had to rely on taped VHS copies for my “DS” fix until the Sci-Fi Channel premiered in 1992 and started showing the series again. However, the association the costume party episodes had with Christmas remained with me and I’d watch them each year around this time.

My mother died on December 16, 2008 and my annual trip to Barnabas Collins’s costume party was as comforting for me then as it is now.

 
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Posted by on December 16, 2011 in Pop Life

 

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Recurring Feature (at least until I tire of it): “Things I Do to Depress Myself” or “The Legacy of George Lucas”…

Top-Grossing Films of 1971

1. Fiddler on the Roof  $38,261,000

2. The French Connection  $32,500,000

3. Summer of ’42 $26,315,000

4. Diamonds Are Forever $20,500,000

5. Dirty Harry $19,727,000

6. Carnal Knowledge $18,000,000

7. A Clockwork Orange $17,000,000

8. Klute $14,075,000

9. The Last Picture Show $13,100,000

10. Bedknobs and Broomsticks*  $11,426,000

I was surprised to see “Clockwork Orange” on this list. I can’t conceive of the film being made today and if it was, it would never have a national release in enough theaters to rank among the top-grossing films of the year. The re-release of “Bedknobs and Broomsticks” with Angela Lansbury is the only overtly family film. Aside from arguably “Diamonds are Forever,” the rest are movies strictly for adults or ones that parents might consider taking their kids along with them if they’re old enough, but none are the amusement park ride movies of today designed for kids and their parental chauffeurs.

Top-Grossing Films of 1981

1. Raiders of the Lost Ark $384,562,121

2. On Golden Pond $119,285,432

3. Superman II  $108,185,706

4. Arthur $95,461,682

5. Stripes $85,297,000

6. The Cannonball Run $72,179,579

7. Chariots of Fire $58,972,904

8. For Your Eyes Only $54,812,802

9. The Four Seasons $50,427,646

10. Time Bandits $42,365,581

“Superman II” is a sequel, but otherwise, it’s a still diverse selection of comedies, dramas, and action films.

Top-Grossing Films of 1991

1. Terminator 2: Judgment Day $519,843,345

2. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves $390,493,908

3. Beauty and the Beast $377,350,553

4. Hook $300,854,823

5. The Silence of the Lambs $272,742,922

6. JFK $205,405,498

7. The Addams Family  $191,502,426

8. Cape Fear $182,291,969

9. Hot Shots! $181,096,164

10. City Slickers $179,033,791

People continue to debate whether eventual Best Picture winner “The Silence of the Lambs” is a creepy drama or a very good horror movie. I fall in the latter camp. “Beauty and the Beast,” essentially a cartoon musical, has more in common with 1971’s “Fiddler” than 2001’s “Shrek.” The biggest film of the year is a sequel, and we have our first entry based on TV show — back when the mid-60s was 25 years behind us rather than the mid-80s. We also see more disposable movies — you’d think “Robin Hood” and “Hook” were bombs based on the number of people with positive experiences of them.

Top-Grossing Films of 2001

1. Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone $974,733,550

2. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring  $870,761,744

3. Monsters, Inc. $525,366,597

4. Shrek  $484,409,218

5. Ocean’s Eleven  $450,717,150

6. Pearl Harbor $449,220,945

7. The Mummy Returns $433,013,274

8. Jurassic Park III $368,780,809

9. Planet of the Apes $362,211,740

10. Hannibal $351,692,268 $165,092,268

Everything listed is either a sequel or a remake, except for “Pearl Harbor,” “Monsters, Inc.” (sequel on the way), and “Shrek” (enough already!) “Harry Potter” and “The Lord of the Rings” are what I call “sequels from the start,” as they are event movies that are intended to have multiple installments.

Top-Grossing Films of 2011

1. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 2  $1,328,111,219

2. Transformers: Dark of the Moon $1,123,196,189

3. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides $1,043,871,802

4. Kung Fu Panda 2 $663,024,542

5. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 $633,500,000

6. Fast Five $626,137,675

7. The Hangover Part II $581,464,305

8. The Smurfs  $562,158,353

9. Cars 2 $551,850,875

10. Rio $484,635,760

So, no dramas, one comedy (in theory), four cartoons (five, if you count the theoretical comedy), and eight sequels. The new “film series within a film series” concept (“Harry Potter” and “Twilight”) amuses me: Four to five hours to watch a film adaptation of a book that could probably be read in half that time.

 
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Posted by on December 13, 2011 in Pop Life

 

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