Who to un-friend on Facebook…

17 Feb


Odds are your Facebook friends & neighbors fall into the following groups:

Actual Friends: These are people you see regularly off-line or would if you lived in the same city. Your ability to connect with out-of-state friends whom years ago you might have lost touch is one of the great boons of Facebook. They read your posts, comment on them, like your poorly shot photos. They amount to roughly 2% of your Facebook friends.

Facebook Luddites: They are the people who claim to “never use” Facebook, which is perfectly fine if they could ever leave it at that. However, they always have to add the codicil, “because I’m so busy” or “I just don’t have the time for it.” You might feel guilty about wasting time on Facebook if the Luddite had anything to show for his or her discipline — like a cure for some disease or even a nice piece of woodwork. And even if they weren’t snide about their non-use of Facebook, you should probably still un-friend them because they don’t add anything to the service. I’ve received more personal responses from the rare celebrity Facebook pages I follow (oh, Liza!) than I have from the Luddites.

Facebook Narcissists: These people believe Facebook exists as a public service to allow the world to closely follow the intimate ups and downs of the dysfunctional roller coaster that is their existence. They actively solicit — nay, demand! — feedback and positive reinforcement on their posts but rarely if ever comment on anything you post. You’re probably giving them a pass because they might just not understand how Facebook should work, but most likely they are this way in real life, which no one needs. A small number of these narcissists will find the time to acknowledge your existence as an autonomous individual separate from them and actually “like” the fact that you just got married or moved or found a new job. Keep them around if you wish.

Facebook Bullies: This is perhaps the most curious group. They only ever comment on your posts to disagree with you or your other friends or to mock you and your other friends. We get it, you don’t like Downton Abbey or Sherlock or whatever everyone else is discussing. You find the Buzzfeed quizzes silly. Let it go. Spirited debate is grand but drive-by attacks are pointless. Facebook Bullies also make your other friends think you collect jackasses as a pastime. Get this evil out of your swamp.


1 Comment

Posted by on February 17, 2014 in Uncategorized



One response to “Who to un-friend on Facebook…

  1. observeratlarge

    February 17, 2014 at 1:23 pm

    Au contraire. I have a very high quality of facebooks friends, all of whom I know by name. I have personally met several people I originally knew on facebook, and they have all been delightful. And I look forward to meeting others in the future — including you, Stephen Robinson1


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: