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Monthly Archives: July 2013

It’s possible she was not alive when I bought the album…

 
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Posted by on July 28, 2013 in Pop Life

 

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July 27, 1983…

MadonnaTheFirstAlbum1983AlbumCover I can’t state definitively if I’d be alive today if not for the release of Madonna’s self-titled debut album 30 years ago.

I’ve enjoyed some of her later albums more ( Like a Prayer, I’m Breathless, Erotica, and Bedtime Stories), but the Madonna I met in 1983 — the wavy-haired working class girl with the nasally Michigan accent — is the one who fully captured my heart. I was rarely happy, but I always was with her.

I was 9 years old at the time, secretly recording Madonna songs off the radio on what would become my first mixtape. Critics said she couldn’t sing, but I’d memorized each note and found joy in every flaw. There was no adequate way to describe the passion and the not-so-subtle pain in her music, so I never tried. It was simply Madonna.

Burning Up

Holiday

Lucky Star

 
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Posted by on July 26, 2013 in Pop Life

 

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Really, New York Times?

The New York Times prints unfounded, vicious gossip about Anthony Weiner’s wife Huma Abedin.

Sipping sparkling water by the bustling patios of Bryant Park on Wednesday afternoon, the young women touched on the usual topics of lunchtime gossip: men, work, relationships.

And it’s apparently Upper Middle Class gossip. The Times does understand that Weiner is running for mayor of all of New York City, not just the Upper East Side, right? Is print in such trouble that it can’t afford to spring for a cab to Harlem?

As her companions nodded, Noebeth Toro, 30, said she could understand how Ms. Abedin chose to stand by her husband in 2011 when he was first discovered sending explicit messages to women online. But she was puzzled to see her beside Mr. Weiner once again on Tuesday, defending him despite new revelations of more recent online encounters.

“Fool me once, shame on you,” Ms. Toro said. “Fool me twice, shame on me.”

Her colleague, Jessica Marrocco, 26, suspected another motive.

“I think she’s really just doing it for the publicity, and she wants a husband in office,” she said. “Because no self-respecting woman would stand up there and say that something like that’s O.K.”

Abedin, I’m sure, appreciates that Toro “understands” why she did something that’s none of Toro’s business. Meanwhile, her friend Marrocco accuses a perfect stranger of being a shameless attention seeker. And she comes to the conclusion thanks to sparkling water and the fizzy substance inside her head.

 

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The Ballad of Carlos Danger…

anthony-weiner-i-regret-not-telling-you-when-lewd-sex-chats-happened
In the middle of the night when his wife has retired
prowls a disgraced politician whom we once admired
With his long wooden pipe,
fuzzy, woolly palms
he trolls the Internet and everybody knows him

Carlos (Carlos)
Carlos Danger
He’s only three feet tall
Carlos (Carlos)
Carlos Danger
The bravest little flasher of them all

Now Internet predators are creeps you know
They don’t like to hurry and they take things slow
They don’t like to travel away from home
They just want to expose themselves and be left alone
But one day Carlos decided to go
on a big adventure to the city he knows
to help the Democrats get back the mayorship
that was stolen by Giuliani in the days of old

Carlos (Carlos)
Carlos Danger
The bravest little flasher of them all

Now his poll numbers have sunk and he might have to retire
that disgraced politician we all used to admire
just sittin’ alone as his campaign hopes ebb
flashing his pipe on the World Wide Web

Carlos (Carlos)
Carlos Danger
He’s only three feet tall
Carlos (Carlos)
Carlos Danger
The bravest little flasher of them all
 
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Posted by on July 25, 2013 in Political Theatre

 

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Weiner Setback…

Reuters reports that Anthony Weiner’s sideline as an amateur porn star has not been good for his mayoral campaign:

New disclosures of explicitly sexual online chats have cost former Congressman Anthony Weiner the lead in the New York City mayor’s race and helped City Council Speaker Christine Quinn pull ahead among Democratic voters, according to a poll released on Thursday.

Quinn is openly gay, so perhaps New York is so sick of Weiner’s penis, they not only prefer a female candidate but one for whom any possible sex scandal will not involve a penis in any capacity.

However, it is still possible for Weiner to win the primary but only if he legally changes his name to Carlos Danger. Who wouldn’t vote for that guy?

 
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Posted by on July 25, 2013 in Political Theatre

 

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Wendy’s Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger Review…

I wonder how much Wendy’s would pay this guy to never review any of their menu items.

 
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Posted by on July 24, 2013 in Capitalism

 

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Monica at 40…

Monica Lewinsky turns 40 today.175px-Monica_lewinsky Fifteen years ago, this photo of a 24-year-old Lewinsky was more ubiquitous than every current reality TV star combined. Her physical relationship with President Bill Clinton spurred debate about what actually defined sex. Clinton’s original, strongly worded denial was rooted more in legal technicalities than the straightforward and fairly simple definition of “what would really piss off my wife?”

Lewinksy’s peculiar dry-cleaning habits left Clinton with no option but to confess to the affair that threatened the security and prosperity of no single American citizen.

Unfortunately, this took some steam out of Hillary Clinton’s statement on The Today Show about a “vast right-wing conspiracy” against her husband; however, Clinton’s philandering didn’t make it any less true. The right never fully accepted Clinton’s election in 1992, just as it never fully accepted Barack Obama’s election in 2008. The efforts to unseat Clinton and tag the Democratic party with its own Watergate were altogether pointless and needlessly destructive, but rather than serving as the nadir of what House leader Richard Gephardt called the “politics of personal destruction,” it proved to be the cold open.

Curiously — or perhaps not so curiously — Lewinksy suffered the most from the scandal. Independent Counsel Ken Starr has returned to obscurity and perhaps contents himself with community theater productions of The Crucible. Clinton’s eventual impeachment is now a mere footnote in a presidency that most Americans regard fondly. Hillary Clinton’s public humiliation arguably softened her image in the public and helped her win her New York Senate seat. Newt Gingrich lost the Speakership but returned to run for president in 2012.

Monica Lewinsky, unfortunately, became the national joke, and as she enters mid-life, it’s unlikely she’ll ever supplant in public memory her starring role in a presidential sex scandal.

Yet in a just world, no one would know her name.

 

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